Why I Choose To Believe That Everything Happens For A Reason

I find myself always thinking about the what-ifs. Maybe I let my thoughts run wild way too often, but what if I had chosen a different college in high school, declared a different major, or even chosen a different pair of jeans today? All these big and small decisions have inevitably led to a different path in our lives. With that being said, I truly believe that all decisions and events happen for a reason. You may not know the reason right away, not even in a couple of days, maybe not until a couple of years down the road, but one day you will. 

I want to be clear, I don’t think that this is about pretending that bad things don’t hurt, but rather having a positive mindset, looking on the bright side. Rather than thinking that all bad things happen to you, think about it as all bad things happen for you: for you to improve, for you to be set on the right path, for you to grow. This reframing has genuinely altered the way I see and move through this world. 

Yesterday I planned out the perfect outfit, these cute shorts with a light cardigan — it was too good. But after I showered and went to put on my outfit, I realized that my shorts were dirty, so then I had to switch into jeans. My whole journey to class, I couldn’t stop thinking about how cute my outfit would have been. I didn’t know it then, but I was grateful that I chose to wear jeans. Later that day, the temperature dropped and it started to get really cold. I still had some errands to run, so changing was not an option. 

Though this was a small example, it just clearly shows that everything does happen for a reason. 

A stronger example of this, and the one that ultimately changed my life and the way I see it now, was when I failed my first class ever. Throwback to the fall quarter of this year, I was in a class that was apparently one of the easiest classes for my major (at the time). Honestly, the whole quarter I thought I was pretty manageable. I understood all concepts, kept up with the work, and overall felt pretty steady. The most nerve-racking part of it all was the final being worth 60 percent of our entire grade. I studied for hours upon hours, day after day, trying to get a good grade not only in the final but in the class. 

The day of the final came, and I felt relatively ready. I studied for so long that I genuinely had no excuse not to be. I took the exam and thought I’d aced it. But, two weeks after the test was graded and grades were finalized, I realized that not only did I fail the exam, but I failed the class as well. I thought this was the end of the world, that I would never come back from it, that I would have to transfer out. I was spiraling, and it was not pretty.

I remember crying to my mom, telling her that I was unsure what to do anymore. She reassured me that everything would be fine and that I could always take the class again. While she was right, logically, I was still unsure. Something within me did not want to take that class again. I started to look for alternatives, such as other majors and career paths. I just didn’t truly enjoy the major, and I ultimately took it as a sign to look elsewhere. 

Overall, the failure caused me to reflect on what I was doing and truly aiming for. I was forced to look at my major differently and ask myself whether I was on the right path and if that path was the one I really wanted, or if I just chose it by default of a major I chose in high school. Sitting there reflecting and answering my questions with answers I wasn’t expecting, I found out what I truly wanted to do. Obviously, not right away, but it redirected me.

I do, however, understand that some people may think that the phrase “everything happens for a reason” is mainly used as an excuse for when you don’t get your way. Frankly, it can be misused in that way; pain, loss, and grief should be felt and not sugar-coated. Adding a meaning to something that you have yet to actually process isn’t healing, but rather, it’s avoidance. Not every bad thing is necessarily a blessing in disguise, and pretending it is can possibly make it harder for you to move on. All this to say, you should first feel what that setback or challenge causes you to feel, then think about the meaning behind it (if there is any), and then figure out a way to move past it and grow. 

Whether or not the universe is controlling or manipulating my life, I found that believing that things do happen for a reason has ultimately made me more resilient and optimistic. I also have found that I’m more capable of adapting to change and not restricted by the things I can’t control. I allow myself to accept that some things are out of my reach and not for me to decide, and that’s okay.  

Although the what-ifs will always be there, this is a mindset that I choose to keep. I’ll probably never stop thinking about all the roads I could have been on, but I trust that the path that I’m on right now is ultimately the right one for me, dirty shorts and all.

• career
• college
• lifestyle
• mental health