Right now, we are living in an epidemic of saying the word “no.” A lot of us want to protect ourselves, set boundaries, and play it safe. It truly is hard to resist saying no. With the word “no,” we protect and shield ourselves, live the life we are familiar with, and keep ourselves from getting outside of our comfort zone. In the process, however, our “no”s sometimes confine us to a box of partaking in the same monotonous activity every day.
Before I learned how to say “yes,” I was the last person to do so. As someone with intense social anxiety, I didn’t realize how many things I stopped myself from doing. I was worried about doing things or even being perceived, so I never wanted to go to events, let alone do things by myself. Saying “no” felt like I was setting my personal boundaries and protecting myself from being on edge. I was worried about making mistakes, looking inexperienced, and embarrassing myself.
However, getting over this fear took me some time. As someone completely obsessed with music, I once refused to go to concerts. The idea of having to dance, let loose, and just being seen was enough to make me hate concerts. When my favorite artist went on tour, I forced myself to go with my friend. At first, I was stiff and felt so awkward, and like everyone was watching me. But watching everyone be in their own world, and seeing my friend having fun, made me want to let go and dance. I was a little self-conscious, but I noticed that nobody was watching me. The people who happened to notice me loved my energy. The fear I was experiencing was over something so simple and mundane, yet I limited myself from having fun because I was scared of being judged.
Beyond just the fear of embarrassment, I was scared of committing too much time to things. I always found myself asking, “Am I going to waste time doing this?” At the beginning of the year, my roommates would always try to drag me to random events: club meetings, workout classes, hikes, and even getting food with people I barely knew. I was always hesitant because I felt I had other work to do. There was a dinner my roommates eventually dragged me to, where I met some friends whom I’m eternally grateful to have met. Another time, my friend dragged me to a Her Campus meeting that I almost turned down because I had an assignment due that night, which is how I found my passion for writing and journalism. A lot of us worry far too much about efficiency, optimizing our time, and weighing whether something is worth it. By limiting ourselves to only what we are 100% certain will be worth our time, we miss out on lifelong connections by saying no.
It’s easy for life to feel monotonous and to fall into a routine. By saying “yes,” you learn to take a break from your routine, try new things, and spice up life in different ways. All this to say: replace the comfort of “no” with the spontaneity of “yes.” The moment you start to take risks, you meet new people, you learn more about yourself, and you find things that you love.