As graduation approaches, I am nearing the end of an incredibly challenging but deeply gratifying year. I have spent my senior year student-teaching in a third-grade class, learning from my mentor teacher and experiencing the classroom in real time. While I have been studying education for my entire college career, nothing is like actually being with students in a school. I was recently asked by a friend who was interested in education what my experience was like, to which I said: “It is probably the most exhausting but most rewarding thing you’ll ever do!”
Over the past year, I gradually began attending more and more days at my placement school and taking over more lessons. I started going to bed at 9 pm so that I could be up at 5:30 am. I began writing and reviewing lesson plans every day after school. I have been going on field trips, differentiating instruction, attending IEP meetings, finding my own personal teaching style, and so much more. It has been so much to take on, but I have learned so much in the process.
I have had lots of ups and downs throughout the year. I would go from feeling like I want to abandon ship one day, only to be gushing over how much I love my students the next. It honestly took most of the year to feel like maybe I sort of know what I’m doing now. Learning something new is not something that comes easily for me. I don’t like doing things I’m not confident in. I really had to push myself through this experience to try everything and not be afraid to make mistakes. No one expected me to be a seasoned teacher, so why did I expect myself to act like one? I worked so hard every day to prove that I know what I’m doing and I can handle being there.
Eventually, though, I got to a point where I just let go. I let myself try new lessons on the spot and fail epically. I let myself say the wrong thing. But every time I felt like I had failed, I learned something new about myself and what kind of teacher I wanted to be! The messier I became, the more I grew, and I can now confidently say that I have gotten to a point where I can show up to school and plan the day in 20 minutes before the bell rings. The October version of me (who spent 3 hours every night planning) would be in utter shock hearing that.
However, I do still have to wake up early, and I don’t always get enough sleep. I’m often tired, annoyed, and drained from hearing 8-year-olds call my name a million times a day. But I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world. Teaching is 100% a calling, and if you don’t feel that deep desire to be all in for your students, it will drain you so quickly. I struggle every day to get up and go to school, but I am also at the point where I couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else!
I also try to think of it as service work that is tied to my faith and my spiritual calling of mentorship. That is totally what makes it all worthwhile to me! On my hardest days, I know I am still worshipping the Lord with a servant’s heart. Being that support person who is a safe, trusted adult is so important to me, and it keeps me showing up for my students every day. All in all, teaching is probably the hardest but best (and most important) work I’ll ever do. I cannot wait to start my classroom someday and become the support that so many students need!