Over the past four years at Hofstra, I have learned that growth comes from being uncomfortable. College forced me to make my own decisions, speak up for myself and figure out who I was outside of other people’s expectations. There were moments where I felt overwhelmed, homesick or even like I didn’t want to be there, but those hard moments are what pushed me to be more independent than I ever thought I could be.
One of the biggest challenges I faced was learning how to value my own voice. Freshman year, I was so concerned about making friends that I often just went along with what everyone else wanted to make them comfortable, without stopping to ask myself what I wanted. Between difficult conversations I’ve had, heavy course loads and navigating clubs and Greek life, I’ve realized that advocating for myself and my needs does not make me difficult, but honest. Setting boundaries and expressing my needs were important parts of my growth, not things I needed to apologize for.
Through classes, my close friends and challenges, I became more secure in who I was as a person before I added friendships and academics into the equation. The version of me leaving college is still growing and learning, but she is far more confident than the girl who picked up her life and moved to New York from Maryland four years ago.
While Hofstra definitely gave me the space to grow, studying abroad in my spring of Junior year was definitely the biggest learning experience. As if New York wasn’t far enough from home, London was even further. During this time, I was able to find myself away from many of the usual pressures. I found my love for theatre (on an even deeper level), for exploring museums, meeting new people, and visiting places I had never seen before. Every day, I am thankful for this experience, especially for how it has translated into my life back in the United States.
That transformative experience made my life even better when I returned to Hofstra during my senior year. I was able to be who I am without caring as much as I had in the past, realizing that having friends who cared just as much about me as I did them was important now. The quote “we accept the love we think we deserve” was unfortunately very true throughout my high school and early college years, where I found myself in a common pattern of always pouring more into people than they were able to pour into me. I continued this with many friendships, hoping that something would click and they would change, but often it didn’t. I finally found friends who showed up for me constantly, supported me, and let me be myself without changing who I am to fit in.
These friends I made changed my college experience in ways I never expected. They were people I celebrated my victories with, ranted to about professors, leaned on during hard moments and laughed with during funny ones. These people reminded me that friendship was not a one-sided affair, that it should not feel exhausting but instead give me energy.
While college was about earning my degree, it was also about being comfortable with hard moments and change, learning to be my own advocate, and discovering experiences that bring out the best parts of me. These past four years have challenged me in ways I have never expected, but also given me confidence, independence, and relationships that will stay with me for a long time.
For the first time in my life, I feel confident enough to trust my own decisions and prioritize what I want, rather than constantly worrying about how others will perceive me. College taught me that growth is ongoing and that becoming the person you want to be does not happen overnight. The biggest thing college gave me was not just a degree, but confidence in myself, my voice, and the life and relationships I deserve moving forward.