When you’re in high school, everything can feel very certain. You pick a goal, and that goal becomes part of your identity. For me, that goal was becoming a doctor, more specifically, a surgeon. It wasn’t just something I thought about occasionally, it was something I lived for. I went to multiple medical summer programs in different universities, and one in Puerto Rico, close to where I live. I spent countless hours of my summers shadowing surgeons and surrounded myself with people who had the same ambition. Everyone around me knew that this is what I was going to do. My family knew it, my friends knew it, and even in my neighborhood, I was surrounded by doctors who reinforced that path. It felt clear, structured, and I was certain this is what I wanted.
Entering a different world
Then I graduated from high school and started college at the University of Connecticut, and everything shifted.
Everyone says that college is very different from high school, but I at least didn’t believe it until I experienced it. Suddenly, you’re not surrounded by people who think like you. You meet students with completely different majors, passions, and perspectives. You hear conversations about law, business, engineering, psychology, and things you may have never seriously considered before. At first, it’s just something interesting to hear, but then as conversations continue, you start thinking about it more deeply, and all of a sudden, curiosity starts to grow.
For me, that curiosity turned into doubt.
I started to question something that I’d been so sure about for years. I’d sit with my friends and hear them talk about their majors, and I was genuinely interested in what they were doing and the courses they were taking. I started imagining myself in those fields, and I found myself wondering if maybe I wanted to do something else and if maybe medicine wasn’t the right or the only path for me. I even considered the possibility of becoming a lawyer as a career at one point and completely switching majors. That thought alone felt almost shocking, like I was betraying everyone who believed I was going to become a doctor and even betraying the version of myself that did everything towards that career.
At the beginning, my parents didn’t fully understand it; to them, I was making a mistake. It looked like I was lost, and honestly, it felt that way too. It was very confusing to suddenly question something that had once felt so certain.
This is not “going off the rails”
What I’ve learned is that this experience isn’t a sign that you’re “going off the rails,” it’s actually the opposite. It’s a sign that you’re growing.
College is designed to expose you to different possibilities. That’s why there are electives, different majors, and so many opportunities to explore. Feeling curious doesn’t mean you’re abandoning your goals; it means you’re allowing yourself to fully understand them and be certain about them. It’s normal to feel pulled in different directions when you’re given the freedom college offers.
One of the biggest mistakes I made at the beginning was keeping everything to myself. I bottled up those thoughts because I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be questioning my path, and that only made it worse. It started to consume my everyday thoughts. I’d constantly overthink, going back and forth between what I’d always wanted and what I was suddenly curious about.
What helped me the most was finally talking about it. Whether it was with my parents, advisors, or people I trusted, opening up made a huge difference. Once I started to express what I was feeling, I realized that this was not abnormal at all. Many students go through the same thing; they just don’t always talk about it. Talking to someone, even a counselor or a therapist, helps you organize your thoughts and see things more clearly. It can also help because people with more life experience than you can offer guidance and support, and maybe that can help you get some clarity.
Finding clarity
With time and guidance — in my case, my dad offered me the guidance that gave me clarity — everything started to make more sense. I realized that I still wanted to become a doctor; that passion never went away. But I also discovered something new about myself. I’m interested in the business side of medicine. I want to understand how healthcare systems operate, how practices are managed, and how decisions are made beyond just patient care, and I’m interested in some day becoming a business owner, whether it’s related to healthcare or not. Because of that, I decided to pursue a minor in business.
This decision didn’t mean I changed my path; it meant I refined it. That’s something I think a lot of students struggling with this confusion need to hear, because I was one of them just a few months ago. Exploring doesn’t mean you’re lost, and doubting doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re taking the time to make a better, more informed decision about your future.
College gives you the space and resources to figure things out. Whether it’s through electives, advisors, or simply conversations with people around you, you’re not expected to have everything perfectly planned from day one. It’s okay if it takes time. Some people figure it out early, and others take longer, and both are completely normal.
Looking back, I’m grateful for that period of uncertainty. It forced me to think deeper about what I want and why I want it. It made my decision stronger. If you ever feel unsure about your path in college, don’t panic; you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong. This is exactly what college is for. And even though I’m somewhat clear once again on the path I want to follow, I’m still uncertain as to which field in the business/healthcare career I want to follow. I’m okay with this uncertainty because I know that college will provide me with the opportunities to explore, and I’ll decide once I’m ready and have seen everything.
Eventually, things will fall into place. Maybe not all at once, but step by step, and when they do, you’ll move forward with more confidence, clarity, and purpose.
Everything will be okay!!!