Somewhere along the way, being busy stopped feeling stressful and started feeling like an accomplishment. I used to say things like “I’m so busy,” almost as a badge of honor, like it proved I was doing something right. If my schedule wasn’t packed, I felt off, like I was falling behind everyone else.
In college, being busy is almost expected, especially at a university like Michigan. Everyone around you is juggling classes, jobs, clubs, friendships, and somehow still having a social life. It becomes incredibly easy to compare schedules and quietly compete over who has less free time. The busier you are, the more it feels like you’re maximizing your time, your opportunities, and honestly, your worth.
And for a while, I loved that feeling.
Being busy made me feel productive. It made me feel important. It gave me an easy answer when people asked how I was doing. “Busy, but good,” became my default, and I didn’t question it. Social media didn’t help either. Everywhere I looked, there were people waking up early, balancing a million things, and somehow making it all look effortless. It felt like if I slowed down, I was doing something wrong.
But eventually, the cracks started to show.
I realized I was constantly rushing from one thing to the next without actually enjoying any of it. Even when I had time to relax, I felt guilty for not being productive. I would sit down to take a break and immediately start thinking about what I “should” be doing instead. It got to a point where I didn’t even know how to fully relax anymore, because my brain was always moving to the next task.
The turning point wasn’t one big moment. It was a bunch of small realizations adding up. Feeling drained all the time. Not being present with friends. Doing things just to check them off a list instead of actually caring about them. I started to question why I was so obsessed with being busy in the first place.
And the honest answer? I had tied being busy to being successful. And being busy to my worth.
Once I realized that, it became a lot harder to ignore.
I didn’t suddenly fix everything overnight, but I did start to shift how I thought about my time. I began asking myself what actually mattered instead of just filling every open space in my schedule. I started realizing that rest isn’t something you have to earn, and that having free time doesn’t mean you’re lazy or unmotivated.
Now, I try to be more intentional. I still have busy days, because that’s just part of college, but I don’t chase that feeling anymore. I leave space in my schedule on purpose. I say no to things I don’t actually want to do. And most importantly, I let myself have time that isn’t “productive” without feeling guilty about it.
I’m not perfect at it. There are still moments where I feel that pressure creeping back in, where I think I should be doing more, adding more, being more. But now I notice it. And that alone has made a huge difference.
Because at the end of the day, being busy isn’t the goal. Enjoying your life is.