From Doak to Don’t Text Me discusses real dating horror stories from girls at FSU with a running theme. These stories are retold in a comedic way by illustrating some shocking experiences college students have while navigating the world of dating.
When thinking of my idea for this article, I was originally going to write about love bombers. Ladies, we’ve all had to deal with these. Text after text, compliment after compliment… for about a week, and then you start getting left on delivered for 12 hours.
I’m sure this isn’t new to most of us. It’s the same old, same old. After doing some digging into the dating horror stories from women at FSU that I received, I noticed a new, peculiar category. Men who literally just can’t read the room.
The two stories that are featured in this article are based on real story submissions that were sent in. Earlier this year, I sent out a Google form asking girls at FSU to share their dating horror stories. Of course, not just with dating, but with people they talked to or even just had a brief fling with.
That being said, this week’s theme is “Read the Room!” This article highlights men who make very questionable decisions, thinking that they are being romantic, but truly just causing second-hand embarrassment.
So, ladies, as always, grab your cup of tea, get your popcorn out, and cozy up as you read about some of these romantically oblivious men at FSU.
Excuse Me?
Our first story is about a guy who invited a girl for a walk around a park. It’s very Bridgerton-esque and off to a great start! She berates her closet, looking for the perfect outfit for the perfect evening. She eventually arrives at the park and finds him sitting on a bench. Then, they get to talking, “Nice to meet you,” blah, blah, blah. We know how it goes. As the date comes to a close, one thing leads to the next, and they go in for a little kiss.
Burp. He burps in her mouth. Okay, not so great anymore. She stares at him wide-eyed; seeing her expression, he asks, “What?” She feels her body shiver with disgust at what just happened and the fact that he has nothing to say after! She decides to brush it off because he seems like a nice guy, might as well just give him a chance. He suggests they go to get food.
They walk to his car, where she opens the passenger door to reveal piles and piles of McDonald’s shoved in the seat. She awkwardly smiles as he hands her a trash bag to put all of the old food into. What a fun couple bonding exercise, right?
Our two individuals arrive at a Little Caesars. Oh no! It’s empty, and there are no employees at the front, so what’s the solution? The man decides to jump over the counter and start walking around.
The employee comes out extremely upset, as one does upon finding a random man walking around in their work area, and yells at the two for their behavior. Our poor leading lady got roped into this man’s strange actions. Overall, just what a charming guy. He really knows how to win women over!
RIP: Romance In Play
This next story is about a girl who was asked out by a guy on Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air! They had just recently met at a mutual friend’s party, but had never met up one-on-one before. From across the room, they struck eye contact and were immediately interested in one another. So far, it sounds like a rom-com plot line. She had been grieving a loss and needed something to take her mind off of it, so she decided to say yes to the date.
Over text, he excitedly tells her that he picked out an amazing spot to just relax and have a nice time to talk. The whole drive, he talks more and more about how amazing the spot is. She thinks, maybe it’s a park or a nice scenic spot. Maybe it’s a bookstore that serves boba (okay, maybe that’s just my personal input), but no. She steps out of the car and looks around.
“You took me to a graveyard? My grandma literally died yesterday,” says the girl. “I just thought we could have a nice time here,” says the guy.
Wow, and they say romance is dead. What better idea to woo a girl who just lost a significant figure in her life than taking her to the one thing that would remind her of it? Talk about reading the room!
The last article in this column was about the “Narcissus Epidemic,” and this one is more of the “can’t read the room” epidemic! Decision-making skills for men seem to have completely gone out the window.
It makes for very comedic stories, but in the moment, one would most definitely feel pure shock in seeing it first-hand. When you think you know where the date is going, our love interests at FSU sure know how to always keep you on your toes!
I hope you were able to have a few laughs with these dating horror stories from FSU. As always, stay safe, and beware of these men who simply make questionable decisions in the hopes of winning you over!
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