For the longest time, I treated social media like a stage I was terrified to step onto. Not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I cared too much about how it would be received. I worried if it would be too much or not enough. Would people judge me, misunderstand me or worse, ignore me completely? I put too much weight on how many followers I had, how many likes I would get on my post and if my friends would get more comments than I would. That fear didn’t just live on my phone. It followed me into conversations and even into my own thoughts.
I used to think way too much into everything: what I wore, how I spoke and what I posted. I tried to mold myself into someone universally likeable. But what I found out is that when you try to be everything for everyone, you slowly stop being anything at all. I’d draft captions and delete them. Film videos and never post them. I would overthink texts, replay conversations in my head and shrink parts of my personality. The worst part is, as I grew up, I realized people are too worried about themselves to even think about what I was doing. I realized I wasn’t protecting myself, but I was limiting myself.
The turning point wasn’t some dramatic moment I can remember. It was gradual, and it took a lot of time. Coming into college is when I can say I became most aware of my newfound confidence. I started small by posting more and not running it by five imaginary critics in my head. And surprisingly, nothing terrible happened. Maybe not everyone engaged, but I felt more real and more me. Looking back, I can’t believe I used to hide the energy that made me, me.
Something that helped me in my journey was realizing that the right people in your life don’t make you feel like you need to filter yourself. One thing I noticed is that when I started my real self, the wrong people naturally fade and the right ones find you.
If I could give any advice: don’t hold yourself back for anyone. If you have to hide your personality from your friends, then they probably aren’t your real friends. Post that post, and don’t second-guess everything you do. You will feel so much freer. Your personality deserves to be seen.