Going into my freshman year of college, I had so many expectations. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I was going to make it all happen. Or so I thought.Â
I wanted blissful independence. I wanted to be on my own, like a true adult. I wanted to live the way I wanted to, without someone telling me what to do or critiquing what I did. While I did get my independence, I also got loneliness. I got overwhelmed. I got hard times that I had to figure out on my own, when all I wanted was someone to swoop in and figure it all out for me. But this taught me so much. I learned how to work through hard things. I learned how to lean on the people I love. I learned not to be afraid to ask for help. I learned how to find comfort in my own company. And these are lessons I am so grateful to have learned, and I know I will carry with me for years to come.
On social media, you always see giant college friend groups that hang out all the time. I wanted this. I never had a big friend group in high school, so I thought that in college, I would definitely have one. I got three close friends. And you know what, they are some of the best friends I have ever had. They are some of the most selfless, loving people I know, and I wouldn’t trade them for any impressively sized friend group. They truly make me a better person everyday, and some of my best memories have been made with them.
Being a Christian, I knew I would want to find a church in Ann Arbor. I just wanted somewhere I could go on Sundays and leave afterwards. I had no intentions of getting super involved in a church community. Surprise…that’s not what I got! I got an entire family of supportive and loving Christians. I got involved in a college ministry group. I got mentors who have helped me navigate one of the most unpredictable seasons of my life. I got to fulfill a lifelong dream of serving abroad on a mission trip.Â
Obviously, I came to college wanting to learn. Throughout high school, I came to realize how much I loved learning, and it seemed to come very easily to me. Studying was almost unnecessary, and good grades were simply expected. I could excel and expand my knowledge without really having to try much at all. I figured college would be a little harder, but relatively the same. What a wake-up call was in store for me. I struggled. Not because I was unqualified or incapable, but simply because I was challenged. I had to learn how to put my ego aside and ask for help. I had to learn how to study. And I had to learn how not to beat myself up when I didn’t finish every class with an A. But I’ve gained so much. My knowledge has grown in areas I had never expected it to, and I am so proud of myself. This first year has shown me that learning is so much more than a good grade on a test; it is about the struggles that challenge you and force you to try harder every day.
If you had asked me what my biggest goal was before coming to college, I probably would have told you that I wanted memories to last a lifetime. I wanted stories to tell my kids one day. I wanted to have some of the best times of my life. Fortunately, I actually got this one. In this first year, I have made memories I will never forget. I have made friendships that have shaped me into the person I am. I have had some of the highest highs and the lowest lows that have taught me so much. I have grown into a version of myself that I am so extremely proud of.Â
I truly do not think I could have been more naive. The journey awaiting me as I unlocked my dorm for the very first time was nothing I could have imagined. Freshman year did not give me everything I wanted. It did, however, give me what I needed. As I sit with the fact that in a few short days I will be packing up and leaving this place and this year that changed me in so many ways, I can’t help but be sentimental about how special of a time this is. I am so grateful for this first year, and beyond excited to see what the next three hold.