A Guide to Becoming Your Own Best Friend: How I Learned to Love Being Alone

For a long time in my life, I associated being alone with being lonely. Whenever I had to do something by myself, such as going to a cafe, sitting in a park or going to a club meeting, I was met with this feeling of underlying anxiety. I felt embarrassed and assumed that people would notice and judge me, so I avoided it. 

Stop Waiting on Other People

The more that I avoided being alone, the more I noticed the pattern of all of the things I wanted to do never happening. This was mostly due to me feeling like I needed someone to do them with me, not because I couldn’t do them alone.

At one point, it clicked. I didn’t have to keep letting other people’s availability decide what I do with my life. The truth is that you don’t need anyone. You can go and live these experiences on your own.

Build Confidence and independence Through Action

The first few times I started doing things alone, it felt uncomfortable. I thought that people were noticing that I was alone. However, I soon realized that it’s not embarrassing at all to go alone. The reality is that nobody really cares. Once I had that realization, it was honestly freeing. 

After that, I started pushing myself to go places and do things I wanted to do, even if I had no one to go with. Once I stopped relying on other people, I gained a level of independence that I didn’t have before. I didn’t have to miss out on things I wanted to do. It helped build my confidence and trust in myself because I was starting to show up for my own life. 

learn to enjoy your own company

When you’re alone, you’re in your truest form. You can choose what to do, how long to stay and what you want to enjoy. Everything is yours. There is a huge level of freedom in that! Spending time alone allows you to make decisions based on your own values and learn more about yourself.  

At the end of the day, you only have yourself. Learn to enjoy your company and don’t depend on others for happiness or validation. Treat yourself like a friend! Being alone shouldn’t feel like a last resort. It should eventually feel enjoyable. I love to spend time with myself and do things alone.

The way you spend your days is the way you spend your life. Don’t miss out by waiting for others. Learning to enjoy spending time with yourself and doing things alone instead of relying on others for plans is one of the most valuable shifts you can make. 

• alone but not lonely
• confidence
• independence
• lifestyle
• mental health
• self love
• time alone