Recently, two of my closest friends from my professional organization and I have made it a point to have weekly dinners before our chapter meetings on Tuesday nights. We pick whose house we want to do dinner at that given week, send the Google Calendar invitation, and pick a recipe or meal for that week. We all disperse and buy ingredients to contribute to the meal. Then, after a busy day of lectures, research labs, and meetings, we meet up at around 6:00 or 6:30 pm. We cook the meal together, sit at the table or on the couch, eat the food, and just chat and catch up.
While this may seem simple or like a typical hang out, knowing that we get to have a meal together and have a designated time to catch up during our busy weeks means so much. It is a time where we can catch up about everything going on that is unrelated to school and our academic endeavors, and, since we are all eating dinner (something that we all need to find time to do during our busy days), the pressure to tackle outside assignments or “be productive” in other ways disappears. Eating a meal with my friends makes me feel close to them and gives me the boost I often need midway through the week.
There is research to back up this feeling of unity and the power of a meal with friends. A psychological survey conducted by psychologist Robin Dunbar in 2017 found three main things: People who eat socially are more likely to have a wide social network providing emotional support and they are likely to feel better about themselves, eating with people in the evening makes people feel closer to one another, and evening meals that include laughter are especially likely to enhance one’s feelings of closeness. Additionally, the World Happiness Report found that people who share more meals with their friends, family, or peers report significantly higher levels of positive affect and satisfaction with their lives. They also report significantly lower levels of negative affect and stres. These findings were consistent across genders, ages, countries, and cultures around the world.
These findings show that meals aren’t just enjoyable and fun, but they are protective – psychologically and emotionally. They provide a space to connect with other people and build social networks, trust, safety, and routine. .
With summer approaching, one of the things I know I will miss the most about this semester are the moments sharing meals with my friends. While I know we are all one FaceTime “meal” away, knowing that on a Tuesday night after a busy day that I will have dinner with two good friends is something that cannot be replicated nor replaced. I know that when we get back to Ann Arbor in the fall and the first Tuesday comes around, I will be excited to receive a Google Calendar invitation to our dinner. It will not be the grilled chicken, salad, or make-your-own pizza bar that I will be looking forward to the most; instead, it will be the stories of the summer, greeting hugs, and debriefs on the couch complemented by our delicious, home-cooked meal.