Content Warning: This article contains discussions of OCD symptoms that may be triggering to those in recovery.
I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and I want you to take the phrase “You’re so OCD” out of your vernacular. In a language where so many other words exist–uptight, perfectionist, tightly-wound, rigid, clean, organized, particular–it’s a small change to avoid undermining the seriousness of OCD for its millions of sufferers.
What is OCD?
“OCD stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a mental health condition where people experience unwanted, intrusive thoughts (called obsessions) and feel the urge to perform repetitive behaviors (known as compulsions) to relieve distress or prevent something bad from occurring.”
– NOCD.com
Essentially, OCD stems from a need to reduce or get rid of distressing thoughts and the anxiety that comes with them. Over time, compulsions affirm that the fear requires immediate action. The feared outcome becomes scarier, which leads to more compulsions, and the positive feedback loop continues. In this way, OCD can worsen over time, and can severely limit a person’s ability to complete daily tasks. For example, in the height of some of my flares, it was difficult for me to eat, sleep, and shower, and left me feeling like I missed out on more meaningful aspects of my life. OCD can be all-encompassing, especially when it’s left untreated.
Someone with OCD can also have obsessions that stem from a number of different fears. Since I first remember having obsessions, I’ve obsessed about death, disappointing my loved ones, dissociation, psychosis, serious illnesses, and so much more. All of these fears are made worse by the same problematic system of obsessions and compulsions, but it can be difficult to recognize this system when the fear changes. Moreover, OCD fears center around what someone values most, which can make the disorder even more insidious. Even if someone logically knows their compulsions aren’t necessary to act upon, it’s hard to fight the urge to protect the most important parts of your life. I am a very family-oriented person, and many of my OCD fears come from a need to protect my family or to be a perfect daughter and sister.
I think it’s important to remember that people with OCD are not illogical people. When emotions run high, people tend to struggle to make logical decisions. For people with OCD, that illogical thinking just tends to perpetuate and worsen the fear over time. Compulsions seem illogical because they are. However, in the moment, it doesn’t help to know that they aren’t necessary. People with OCD are driven by a need to feel safety – when such a basic need feels compromised, your nervous system prioritizes survival over logical decision making.
What does it feel like to have OCD?
Some compulsions seem completely nonsensical, which can easily lend itself to parody, especially in popular culture. With that in mind, I think it’s important to establish some compassion for people with OCD. As Alison Dotson puts it, “It’s worse than any horror movie you’ve ever seen.” I’ve heard this sentiment echoed in the OCD community and it feels apt. OCD thoughts can become almost constant and can appear in any setting. People with OCD can feel distressed by their thoughts while they’re in an otherwise completely safe situation: at home, in bed, at the beach, etc. It can feel inescapable and emotionally devastating.
For me, OCD feels like a really convincing voice that tries to make my world smaller and smaller. When obsessive/compulsive patterns are left untreated, they can become practically automatic, and can begin to take over many different facets of a person’s life. The first instance that I can identify having OCD symptoms was when I was 10 years old. In the subsequent nine years it took me to get a diagnosis, my compulsions had caused damage in almost every area of my life, especially in my relationships, my self care, and my passions.
The Stereotype
Now that I’ve established how serious OCD can be, I want to revisit portrayals of OCD in the zeitgeist. We’ve all seen characters in movies or tv shows that are “so OCD.” They might find organization or cleanliness very important. They might turn a light switch on and off three times before leaving the house. They might just like things a certain way. I think of Claire Dunphy from Modern Family.
There is a clear difference between the stereotype and the reality of OCD. OCD revolves around a need for safety, not a need for order. This mismatch in representation makes the disorder widely misunderstood. Cleanliness and orderliness are only connected to OCD insofar as they are common compulsions, not because they drive or describe the disorder.
I’ve also heard in media that “Everyone has a little OCD.” Self-diagnosis is trending on social media, which contributes to misinformation around symptoms, diagnoses, and treatment. It is common to have a preoccupation with order and cleanliness, but that is not at all the reality of OCD. Likewise, personality quirks that resemble compulsions are not an indicator of OCD. For example, many people check that their door is locked, or make sure that the stove is off. However, for these habits to be compulsions, they would be in response to significant distress, and would have to disrupt someone’s life over time.
Why is it particularly harmful to stereotype OCD over other mental disorders?
On average, it takes between 11 and 17 years for someone to be correctly diagnosed with OCD. As I’ve mentioned, OCD gets worse the longer it goes without treatment, so this diagnosis gap is particularly harmful. Though there are a few factors that cause this gap, one of the main reasons is that OCD is so misunderstood, especially in popular culture. Personally, it took me nine years to get a diagnosis. I didn’t have great hygiene, my room was messy, and I’ve never compulsively organized anything, so I never thought I could have OCD. The result is that I went nine years with an undiagnosed mental disorder that increasingly took over my life.
I urge you not to participate in misleading conversations about OCD, or the simplification of its symptoms. This minor change in your everyday interactions will contribute to a broader goal of reducing how misunderstood OCD is and may help close the diagnosis gap. For everyone who has suffered needlessly in our culture, I hope we move to a more compassionate vernacular.
For further research, NOCD.com is an amazing resource.