We all know scrolling on social media is addictive. One second you’re scrolling on TikTok hyping your friends up for a dance they made, the next you’re crying over kittens found on the side of the road, then you somehow find yourself in the middle of online drama concerning the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, to a quick news break about a plane crash, which then leads you to see a compilation of random edits regarding Love Island. However, something that has been extra popular on my FYP has been videos regarding “How to Get the Perfect Summer Body!” and “Quick and Easy Ab Routine in Ten Minutes!” These videos are great and empowering, but yet, when I go to the comments section, it’s full of girls comparing themselves to the person making the video. Look, I’ve posted on Instagram photos that made me feel confident, yet I’ve also spent hours comparing myself to everyone on social media. Of course, social media can be empowering, but it can also be exhausting. So, is social media really a tool for confidence, or is it just another way to measure ourselves against everyone else?
Empowerment Becomes An Aesthetic
Social media shows us women who seem confident, fearless and unstoppable, but sometimes it feels like it’s less about being confident and more about looking confident. You see these women walking through New York City with their Birkens and five-inch heels, but the reality is that image is not realistic. Sure, some jobs may be able to provide you with that lifestyle but it’s rare and shouldn’t be your expectation. I’ve caught myself comparing my own life to someone else’s and wondered if I’m doing something wrong. But I haven’t done anything wrong, I am simply living a different life with different goals. I don’t have the same opportunities as those living in that lifestyle, but that’s not a bad thing, in fact, I think it’s a blessing. Empowerment is supposed to feel real, not filtered, but online it often comes packaged with trends and the pressure to perform.
Validation Becomes A Goal
Likes, comments and shares feel like applause for just being yourself. And if you don’t get a certain amount of each, then there is this idea that you are not good enough. And honestly, I’ve fallen into that trap too. I make sure that all of my likes are hidden on Instagram, I share my posts and get super excited when my friends repost them on their stories since I feel like it will get me more followers. But I think what I learned is that it doesn’t matter who likes, comments or shares as long as you appreciate those giving you the love. I don’t need some old man messaging me saying how beautiful I am, I want my best friends and sorority sisters to hype me up. I think the idea behind getting the most likes or comments is silly, because then you are posting for the validation of others. You should post what you want to post without seeking the approval of others. Your worth isn’t defined by some number on the screen.
Comparison Culture
Scrolling through the FYP can feel like a never-ending comparison test. Someone’s career, body, friendship or even mood suddenly seems “better” than yours. I’ve spent hours comparing myself, wondering why my life isn’t as curated, polished or celebrated as everyone else’s. And even though it’s exhausting, it’s hard not to keep checking, because what else are we supposed to do in a world that’s constantly showing us “better?” Instead of comparing ourselves, we should be trying to better ourselves. Sure, for some people this could mean dying your hair or getting a little extra Botox, but you should be doing it for your own happiness. Do the things that you enjoy, because the opportunities you have are unique and special to you. I am sure there is someone else out there who would love to live your life, so be grateful for what you have.
Empowerment Is Real…But It Can Be Curated
Even with all the pressure, social media can still be empowering. It lets women share their stories, support each other, and bring attention to voices that might not have been heard otherwise. It has served as something good for a long time, but it has also been an outlet for more negative things. Something we have to remember is that everything is curated. There is a reason why you may only see baking videos and animals on your FYP. It’s because those are things you enjoy. You have shaped your social media to show you certain messages, looks or lifestyles. I think that empowerment online is real, but it’s not universal, and it’s easy to feel left out if you don’t fit the mold. But spoiler alert, there is no mold because everyone is different, and that is a wonderful thing. So find confidence in yourself, not just in how many likes your post gets.