With aging comes changes in friendship, love, career, and purpose. It is so easy to feel lost at times—always feeling as though you aren’t doing enough, and if you are, you just aren’t doing it correctly.
As a woman in her early twenties, it is especially hard to feel as though you’re ever really doing it right—doing life right. You ask yourself:
“Am I really where I want to be, and do I deserve it?”
“Am I a good friend? Are my friends good?”
“Is this what love truly looks like?”
Questions that are so complex and nuanced, have been answered so simply by Ethan Hawke during this year’s Oscars.
While being interviewed by Amelia Dimoldenberg, he was asked if he had any advice for anyone experiencing an ‘unrequited love’ theme in their lives.
“The one who’s in love always wins. It doesn’t matter if you get your heart broken, you’re living when you’re feeling you’re alive,” he answered.
From the perspective of a girl in her twenties, his words speak way beyond the idea of romance; but also, platonic and personal love.
A message of self-worth and self-admiration shows that personal passions, friendships, and relationships, are all proof of life. And how lucky are we to experience them, and in a way that evokes love and vulnerability?
Heartbreaks, friendship breakups, or other bumps in the road are all evidence of you being human. And isn’t that such a beautiful thing to look back on in decades to come?
While it feels as though being a girl in her twenties is everlasting, confusing, and dreadful, it is important to see the beauty in pouring your heart into something, whether it works or not.
To be genuine, and to have tried, that is a win. No matter the outcome.
So, I believe that we must use Ethan Hawke’s words as the ultimate reminder as we age.
Love is never wasted, and we are not running out of time. It is acceptable to look back, realise that something no longer suits you, yet you remain appreciative of the experiences and growth that certain relationships, opportunities and connections have allowed you. Forgiveness is not only something you lend to others, but also to yourself.
The next time you feel heartbreak or overthink a friendship breakup, remind yourself: “The one who’s in love always wins.” We spend so much time in our twenties driving ourselves crazy, looking for answers for anything and everything.
Sometimes, it is simply better to take a step back, value the experience, and move away from it while still recognizing the worth you bring to and receive from others.
We are all going through life for the first time. And after all, “You’re living when you’re feeling you’re alive.”