People will do things that can hurt your feelings or impact you negatively. As frustrating as these things can be, I feel that it’s important to let go of any resentment it can cause. It can be difficult to let go of the things that hurt you, and forgiveness can seem like allowing that same behavior to happen again. But this doesn’t always have to be the case.
In my opinion, forgiveness is granted either for the other person or for yourself. For example, if forgiveness is given for the other person, you are accepting their apology and giving them grace for their actions and what they did. This can come from a sense of understanding on your part. It means you can rationalize where they were coming from or accept that sometimes people make mistakes and they feel sorry for their actions.
If you are granting forgiveness for yourself, I believe it’s more because someone did something to hurt you a lot and it may seem unforgivable. But instead of keeping resentment or hate in your heart, you forgive them and let it go. I feel that this is so important to do because in my opinion, the only way you can truly get over your past is by forgiveness.
Otherwise, things may always seem unresolved. I think keeping these things unresolved gives the other person power over you. This is because it gives them authority over your emotions and well-being. In addition, accepting what happened and letting go of anger and hurt gives you control over your own life back, instead of it being dictated by others actions against you.
For the most part, I think people deserve forgiveness. This can have exceptions because some things people do are truly evil. But at the end of the day, I believe that keeping a grudge only holds you down. “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” This quote is famously attributed to Chinese philosopher, Confucius. This quote demonstrates how holding grudges and even taking revenge would just be the cause of your own downfall. Even if revenge may feel good for a short time, you are stooping down to someone else’s level. In my opinion, the only way to truly win is by letting go and moving on. To me, that is the best revenge.
Say you give someone close to you forgiveness for something that still bothers you but stay in each other’s lives. In my personal experience, I know doing this can sometimes cause anger within myself. Not wanting to lose someone but also not wanting to be treated in a certain way can be a challenging struggle.
But I’ve learned that there are ways to forgive people but keep your self-respect and place boundaries. In my opinion, this is done by first validating your feelings. Sometimes it can be easy to disregard your feelings because you don’t want to be dramatic or cause a problem. But all this will do is keep you in a cage of mistreatment. It’s important to keep in mind that when people apologize, you can appreciate it without condoning their actions. For example, when someone says, “I’m sorry,” you can always say, “Thank you,” instead of just “It’s ok.”
I feel that forgiving others is a way to release any negativity that comes with holding a grudge. In my opinion, it’s better to forgive and forget to feel free instead of holding onto something that will only hold you back.