As daunting as it is to admit, I’m not entirely sure about what I want out of life, and I find myself ruminating about that quite often. Being uncomfortable with uncertainty comes with being a 20-something-year-old, and there’s pressure to have a clear trajectory. There’s an in-between feeling many students experience, where everything seems out of rhythm because there’s no specific guideline to follow, and many of us have the privilege of choosing where we want things to go. While this allows for a fair bit of independence, it can feel overwhelming.
This feeling is often framed as something that needs to be fixed, but these periods are so significant for understanding ourselves, and it’s okay not to be put together all the time. This is something I need to remind myself every now and then, and that’s what I’m hoping to do here.
It can be isolating, feeling like everyone has everything figured out and you don’t, whether it’s career plans, internships or long-term goals. However, many people are navigating the same pressures, even if they aren’t often said out loud.
The word “lazy” haunts most of us; we are so afraid to be perceived as that way in this dominant hustle culture society. But we never stop to ask ourselves why maximizing productivity is the main goal here?
I realize that it’s from a place of privilege to say productivity isn’t important and we instead need to have hobbies, but it’s also important to question the bounds of the work culture.
These moments of uncertainty are just as important as having things planned out. They create a space to reflect, question and identify what matters to you beyond expectations. This is when trying new things and being open comes in handy; while that can feel unnerving, trial and error can be helpful.
Part of this pressure also comes from how success is defined in a culture where productivity and achievement are signified, with an underlying pressure to work towards something tangible. In my experience, this makes even hobbies and interests feel like they need a purpose or outcome, so that you should at least be able to monetize them.
Over time, it’s more and more difficult to sit with uncertainty without feeling like you’re behind. But maybe, the discomfort of not knowing doesn’t necessarily need to be solved right this instance; every phase doesn’t need to lead to a clear answer.
However scary it may be, trying your hand at those things that have always interested you but you’ve been too afraid to try is a way to create growth. Nothing is fully decided, and it creates room for growth and possibilities. Whatever stage of life you’re in, staying true to yourself and your values creates the strength to keep going.
As corny as it may sound, confidence and being as kind to yourself as you would to someone else is key. Immerse yourself in art, creativity and people who connect with you. That’s what matters most.