When I first came to college, I didn’t even know what “imposter syndrome” was. I had initially thought it was a word used to express a lack of knowing oneself. Except it is more than that — it is a word to describe the lack of achievement you feel, despite the weight of your accomplishments.
If you ask me, I am proud of anyone who dares to get up, start their day, and simply exist as themselves. However, if you asked me about myself, I would say I feel unaccomplished, average, and so painfully forgettable. Imposter syndrome isn’t just something I feel, it’s something I’ve become. A lot of this feeling stems from the fact that I am a first-generation Latina. I’m taking up space in places my family never had a chance to reach. I don’t always know how to say it, but I try my best to explain to my family how hard I work, how I’ve created opportunities for myself. But they’re immigrants, and because of that, they just don’t fully get it. No matter how I explain it, my words never quite capture the weight of what I’ve achieved. I can understand why it’s hard for them to grasp how amazing these things are in the context of college, but that doesn’t make it feel any less lonely. Even then, it is so hard to feel proud of myself; every step forward feels like I’m still miles behind everyone else. I’ve come so far, but it never feels like it’s enough, like I’m just checking boxes I was supposed to check years ago. No matter what I do, it’s always on to the next thing. My achievements feel distant, like I’m fulfilling expectations, not building something of my own.
There are often times that I find myself being the youngest in the room, reaching opportunities that most at my age haven’t. In those moments, I let the imposter syndrome slowly creep in, “Do I belong here? Am I simply here by chance?” I start to think, maybe my abilities were assessed with less particularity compared to the rest of my peers, and I made it here by just a hair. One day, I found myself in my professor’s office hours, talking about this same issue. Talking over myself nervously, and confessing to the professor how out of place I felt. He reassured me, saying that I don’t “stick out like a sore thumb,” and ended his statement with, “The truth is, that feeling doesn’t ever go away.” I sat with that for a moment, realizing that my discomfort wasn’t proof of my failures, it is evidence of everything I’ve been working towards. It is proof that I am growing into spaces I once thought were impossible for me to reach. This feeling wasn’t because I lacked ability, but instead because of the uncertainty I had towards myself. Now that I am in my second year of college, I realize that, in fact, that feeling does not go away. Especially as I continue to step into new spaces.
I have learned to better sit with this feeling. I have also brought this into other parts of my life. I think it is so important to sit with any feelings or situations that don’t initially sit right with you. Yet, this is the most uncomfortable part about it. I actually had a conversation with a friend about this very thing. He has a similar background to mine, yet I never see him crumpled under pressure.
I asked him, “How are you not constantly having an identity crisis?” To which he responded, “I don’t know. Have you ever been in a room/internship and thought, ‘I really don’t belong here.” To which I promptly replied, “No.”
This made me realize that it’s not that I don’t belong there, it’s that I don’t feel comfortable taking up space, even when I should. I realized that I do belong in spaces, and it’s my own mindset lagging. I have been my own worst enemy. I thought it was quite funny how such a simple response from my friend made me realize that my mindset needs to keep up with the person I am becoming.
Now that I have named the feeling, the next question became obvious: what can you do to stop feeling like an imposter? How can you keep your mind from tricking you? An article from Healthline offers a few strategies, and I’ll share some of my own experience here, too.
Provide outside context for yourself
Talking to someone with an outside perspective can help you see and realize things you wouldn’t be able to spot on your own. When you’re in your own head, you further enforce your own ideas about yourself. For example, talking to my professor and friend helped me realize that a lot of it is just in my head. I am also someone who enjoys words of affirmation, so hearing positive thoughts from people who directly work with me felt both relieving and validating.
Avoid comparing yourself to others
This is one that was really hard for me to overcome. It is hard not to compare yourself, especially when you’ve convinced yourself that you’re behind and should be doing more. The truth is, you are not behind, and comparing yourself to others gets you nowhere.
Focusing on what makes you unique is what stimulates healthy self-growth
What I have learned is that there is no world in which you could accurately compare yourself to someone else. Everyone is different. We all have different goals, aspirations, and completely different backgrounds. Focusing on what makes you, you is the best possible thing I could have done for myself. In this process, I also realize that most of us, even if it looks like we do, do not have everything together. There is beauty in struggle. Embracing that struggle and allowing room for growth is the best thing you can do for your own sanity and mental health.
Sitting with these feelings has taught me that imposter syndrome isn’t something you “get rid of” once and for all. It is something you learn to move through and with more compassion for yourself. Naming it, talking about it, and challenging the thoughts that come with it have made the feeling less powerful, even if it still shows up. What matters is that I keep choosing to show up anyway. I’m learning that growth will always feel uncomfortable, especially for someone carving out a path that no one in their family has walked before. But discomfort doesn’t mean I don’t belong; it means I’m expanding. That is proof that I’m exactly where I need to be.