This week there seems to be a common theme from our writers advising you to make decisions that are the best for you and your mental being, that being said, let’s get right into it!
“I’m really struggling to make friends since starting college, and while sometimes I love to be alone, I’m starting to feel really lonely. I was raised with semi-strict parents, so I’ve never been to a party. I don’t drink or do drugs, and I’ve only been in a few relationships and have never had sex (which I find so embarrassing to admit.) I just feel like a loser and it’s making it harder for me to meet people. Any advice on how to go about making friends and feeling less boring?”
First off, you are not a loser and it’s not embarrassing that you haven’t had sex. You don’t have to party, or drink to make friends either. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and never force yourself to “fit in.” I understand what it’s like to feel lonely, and the way I’ve personally overcome that feeling is by joining organizations on campus but also embracing the comfort of being independent. I’ve found that orgs and clubs helped me find great people to surround myself with, but I enjoy the freedom of hanging out with myself. Life happens on your own timeline, don’t stress trying to figure it out. I wish you the best. :)
-Taylor Carrasco, HC Contributor
“a boy I like is seeing someone else even though he has told my FRIENDS AND given signs that he likes me! please HELP.”
Although it’s scary admitting our feelings, it might be best to talk to him about it directly. See what his intentions and feelings truly are straight from him instead of asking other people around you, just so you’re able to get a more direct and truthful answer. Once you guys have talked about how you feel towards one another, it’ll make it a lot easier to figure out where y’all’s friendship/relationship will go from there. Also, I feel it would be best to keep in mind the fact that he is seeing someone else and put that into consideration when having the conversation. I hope you get all the clarity needed!!
-Courtney Nguyen, HC Contributor
“What should I do if my roommate is friends with my ex and also grew up together?”
Your roommate is childhood friends with your ex, and they’re still hanging out after your breakup? That being said, you’re kind of at a standstill here. Undeniably, this has got to be an uncomfortable situation for you. Your home is meant to be a safe space and that’s difficult when the person you share space with is hanging out with & possibly bringing in people that challenge that space. On the other hand, your roommate and ex have a long-standing relationship outside of you – one that you shouldn’t expect them to abandon. My advice is to lay clear household boundaries and expectations with your roommate, things like, “You can hang out outside of the house, but I need my space protected.” Be prepared for push back, long term friendships can be touchy, but as long as you come at this from a shared space expectation you won’t be stepping on any toes. Communicate, agree on clear boundaries & expectations, and don’t be afraid to speak your mind! Good Luck!
-Leo Calderon, HC Contributor