Spring is a season filled with flowers blooming and new beginnings. As we welcome a new season, let’s welcome some new habits along the way. Small habits that promote positive thinking can have a lasting influence and redirect our lives. Feelings of inadequacy are common and extremely difficult to overcome. This past month, I’ve found myself struggling with self-love. I’ve questioned my career path, my intelligence, and my capability. Much of my life has been consumed by a lingering sadness. A lot of it stems from self-doubt and feeling like everything I do results in failure. School can be extremely overwhelming sometimes.
The sad truth is this feeling will probably always be there, but I’ve found some small ways that help me cope. I know I’m probably not the only one who feels like this. Many people struggle to love themselves (some more than others). As human beings, we have a need to feel loved and appreciated, but can we really expect people to love us if we can’t even love ourselves? I think in order to search for love, we need to be able to give and accept love ourselves.
LEARNING TO ENJOY TIME ALONE
Being alone isn’t always such a bad thing; it can be revealing sometimes. Alone time can give you a chance to get to know yourself truly. Sometimes I’ve found myself limiting what I do or how I do it because of the fear of doing it alone. It can be scary to do things alone, thinking people will judge you or look at you weirdly for being alone.
Spending time with myself is reflective without all the pressures of society. When I’m alone, journaling has been something I’ve found to be very helpful to declutter my thoughts. Writing down things can make you more self-aware of your achievements. I personally like to use random prompts when I don’t know what to write about. Writing in a journal and revisiting entries after some time can be a reflective way to see how you’ve changed throughout the years.
If you don’t like to write or simply don’t have the time, taking yourself on little dates can also be a way of promoting self-love. Some fun ways to spend time that I like are going on walks, working out, or going to see a movie. Not only does this boost self-love, but it can also increase independence. Invest time in getting to know yourself better.
If the thought of going out seems like a lot, sometimes even just staying in and reading a book or watching a show can also be a way to embrace yourself. Take time to think about your goals, and allow yourself to bloom into a new you.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Words, whether we believe it or not, carry a lot of weight, especially when it comes to self-esteem. Some words will follow me forever, but as I’ve continued working on loving myself, I understand that one person’s words don’t define who I am. It’s difficult to tell ourselves positive things because the first things we notice about ourselves are our flaws.
Telling yourself positive words can increase confidence and reduce anxiety. However, the only way words of affirmation can work is if it’s something we consistently work on. Mirror work is a great example of this; it incorporates words of affirmation by speaking directly to yourself in a positive way. Words can heal and hurt; choose to heal.
Take time to look at yourself in the mirror and look at all the positives, not only in your appearance but in your achievements as well. Some affirmations that you could use are:
- “I am capable of achieving my goals.”
- “I am in control of my life.”
- “I am enough.”
- “ I am perfect the way I am.”
- “ I love myself!”
If words of affirmation are not something you have time for, reading positive things about yourself can also help. Many apps are created to send daily affirmations to encourage a worthwhile mindset. Some apps will send affirmations in a text form, and others will have them displayed on the home screen.
LETTING GO
Letting go is the final act of self-love. It’s one of the hardest yet most rewarding parts. Selfishly choose yourself over others. As painful as it may be, sometimes the best thing to do is to accept that things happened the way they were meant to and we can’t change them, only move on. Let go of the people who make you question your worth. Why waste time around people who bring you down and make light of your achievements? Surround yourself with people who see, accept, and love you.
I am still trying to love myself, and sometimes it’s difficult. Despite the difficulty in implementing these habits, they have had a serious impact on my self-confidence. There will always be tough days, and some will be better than others. Despite this, it’s crucial to continue striving for self-love.
Don’t allow self-doubt to govern your life; take control of it. The purest form of love is the one that you give yourself.