I knew what going to UCSB meant when I applied a little over three years ago. It meant my days would be filled with breathtaking sunrises, ocean-side walks, Blenders trips, and weekend getaways to eat danishes in Solvang or tan on Butterfly Beach in Montecito.
Committing to this university meant choosing what I believed would be the best three years of my life, and it truly was. That’s why graduating from UCSB feels so devastating, not just for me, but for so many seniors who are about to leave a place that impacted us so deeply.
Not only are we saying goodbye to a campus we love and the community we’ve built here, but we’re also stepping out of the comforting bubble of college and into real adulthood.
UCSB, in particular, feels harder to leave. Seniors across the country mourn their campuses, but not many have to say goodbye to a place consistently described as one of the most beautiful campuses in the world.
Like my fellow graduates, I will miss so many things about college. But my experience feels slightly different. Graduation does not mark the end of my education, but rather the beginning of another chapter.
When I tell people I’m graduating early, they look at me like I’ve just delivered tragic news. They expect devastation. And while I do feel sadness, it’s not the most dominant emotion I feel; in fact, it’s not even close. The feeling I have most strongly isn’t nostalgia, it’s readiness. I am so beyond ready to leave.
The way I see it, senior year feels more like the middle of a story, not the end. The people around me sometimes treat our graduation like a funeral, probably because we collectively mourn all the “lasts”: the last class, the last sunset, the last walk around Isla Vista (IV).
What I want to highlight is that while you will do these things for the last time, you should not treat these experiences like they’re part of a funeral, whether you are done with school forever after this June or not.
The last time I walk around IV, I’ll notice the pizza place where I nearly peed myself laughing during trivia with my roommates, the bus stop where I once got on the wrong bus and ended up an hour out of my way (entirely my fault), and the sidewalks and paths I’ve taken countless times to and from class, practices, and school events.
But I don’t look at these places with sad eyes, mourning the fact that I will never again be the exact person I am now. I’m grateful I spent time here. These memories aren’t something to grieve; they’re reminders of how I became who I am.
Truth be told, I have no desire to relive the last three years, as wonderful as they were. I’m not sad to be graduating from college, and I’m certainly not sad to be moving forward with my career.
Part of the reason this article exists is that I am graduating a year earlier than most students and going straight to law school in the fall. There seems to be an assumption that I’m missing something by leaving early. And it’s true, choosing one path always means giving up another. But I want to choose this path.
When you tell people your plans for the future, they may project their own feelings onto you and treat them as fact. That’s something I had to learn the hard way. More than once.
Only you know when you are ready to graduate and start your next chapter. You know yourself better than anyone else, and that kind of self-awareness shouldn’t be dismissed.
When I tell people I’m ready, and not devastated, to graduate, some assume my readiness must come from burnout or discontent. But they’re wrong. My readiness comes from fulfillment, growth, and deep gratitude for my college experience. My timeline is simply a little different.
UCSB was never meant to be permanent. It was meant to shape me, and it has. I’ve learned to advocate for myself, balance ambition with joy, and find my voice, among a million other things.
I’ll miss the sunrises and the ocean. I’ll miss the familiarity of IV and the comfort of knowing exactly where I belong. But I’m excited for new cities, new classrooms, and the version of myself I haven’t met yet.
So if you don’t see me cry at graduation, you’ll know why. A part of my heart will always live at UCSB, but I’m walking across that stage not with grief, but with gratitude, and with my eyes set forward.