A year of rediscovering myself
2025 was a year of change. Throughout the twists and turns, I found myself lost as I had to relearn who I was and wanted to be. Amid shifting circumstances, I’ve come to realize how important it is to maintain a space to reflect on my goals and be myself. In the past couple of years, I have dedicated myself to others, trying to improve their lives, while my own goals and hobbies have become secondary. However, I wouldn’t change a thing, because it taught me the most valuable lesson: to create space for happiness in my life.
What I mean by creating space for happiness is that I stopped continuously trying to manufacture it for others and focused on activities that made me happy. I picked up old hobbies that had been long forgotten, and discovered new hobbies that I never knew I would even like. I spent as much time as I could with my chosen family: people who fill my emotional capacities, rather than drain them. In this process, I became a person who could create my own happiness.
I don’t mean to establish a message of non-importance in lending your time to others. I only aim to emphasize that to help others emotionally, you must first help yourself emotionally, as the old saying goes, “you can’t fill up someone else’s cup if yours is empty.” I still aim to create happiness in the lives of others, but I just don’t do it at the cost of my own. But in focusing on what brings me joy, I have an even greater capacity to dedicate myself to others.
Secondly, in creating space for happiness in my life, I had to stop looking to external sources for it. Whether it was from a friend, a job or just an item, fulfilling happiness can only come from within. Now, I get so much joy in my life from my friends, my jobs and certain items (my cow collection). However, when it is the end of the day, and you’re not with your friends or working or looking at your cow collection, it is up to you to build a mindset that works for you and not against you, that brings you peace rather than anxiety and that centers gratitude rather than negativity. This is an everyday work in progress for me, but once I realized that only I could do the work of putting myself first, it became easier to cultivate sources of happiness and gratitude in my life.
In working to create happiness for myself, by myself, I have reached a level of peace I didn’t know was possible. But now that I have clarity on my emotional capabilities, I know that I can have the life that occupies my daydreams. I am the only person who can ensure my happiness, just as you are the only person who can ensure yours. Once I focused my attention inward, I began creating long-lasting, sustainable happiness for myself.