In honor of Valentine’s Day just passing, I wanted to write something with the opposite effect that Love Day has. As beautiful as love is, hating can be just as beautiful and lovely, and it also happens to be my favorite pastime.
A couple weeks ago, I was talking to a coworker who was getting Dr. Pepper and I said, “Oh, you’re a Dr. Pepper person?” and they said, “Is that, like, an ick for you?” and it really got me thinking. I’ve always been a hater that finds faults in things, but what truly gives me the ick? Not like, romantically, but just in general with anyone. Since that night, I have been curating a list of things that when I hear people are really into, it automatically turns me away.
I feel there needs to be a disclaimer for this. None of these icks are personal towards anyone, nor are they directed at people who just casually like some of these things, but more about people who make it their whole personality. Also, let’s not forget who’s writing this – someone who loves Taylor Swift, romance books, and almost always has the latest water bottle trend – so take these with a grain of salt.
10. People that say “pin” when they mean to say “pen.”
Obviously, this one is more based on someone’s accent and where they’re from, so it’s not fully their fault, but whenever someone says it out of context, I always say, “Did you mean pen?” This is more of a funny ick than anything because they’re like “…yeah.”
9. Dog people who hate cats.
This made my top 10 icks because I’m a huge cat lady. But it’s not because I love cats that I hate this type of person. You hardly ever hear how much cat people hate dogs and that’s because they usually don’t. From my experience, people who love cats usually like all animals while dog people just like dogs. And of course, there’s that long-running saying that men usually prefer dogs because dogs love everyone and they can just boss them around, while women typically like cats because they’re independent and choose who they love. One can argue that hating cats is rooted in misogyny, but that feels like a longer conversation for another day.
8. People who say things twice in the same sentence.
This sounds confusing, but what I mean is people who say things like “2 a.m. in the morning.” Like, you’re already saying morning when you say a.m., there’s no need for the second half of that phrase. The other day I saw “NYPD Police” on a cop car, and I was confused how this was professionally written on a police car. New York Police Department Police? Sure.
7. Marvel superfans.
Now, you have to remember when I said not to take what I’m saying seriously. I have so many friends who love Marvel and I love them, but there definitely is something that icks me out about some people’s obsession with superheroes. This one, though, is something I can’t really describe because I have seen some good Marvel movies. Maybe it’s just the fact that there’s so many men and hardly any movies about women within the franchise. Maybe once they expand, I’ll understand the obsession more.
6. People who say “GIF.”
It’s pronounced “Jif.” I don’t care if I’m wrong. This is how it should be said. It flows better, and no one ever officially declared how it’s pronounced. It’s like “Jiffy Lube.” Ji-F.
5. BookTok-Obsessed Fourth Wing people.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed this book. It was easy to read and understand, and who doesn’t like a book about dragons? But how did this book become the face of fantasy and honestly, just books for women? There are a million and then some better books than anything Rebecca Yaros has written, and I fear this is contributing to the dooming literary crisis we are currently in.
4. Green/purple obsessed people.
This one isn’t that deep, yet for some reason it is pretty high on my list. It’s only for these specific colors too, but when people make these colors their entire personality, I’m like, “why?” There are so many better colors out there! (This excludes that old green lady that lives in Brooklyn).
3. People who prefer Wingstop over Buffalo Wild Wings.
This one just makes me angry to be completely honest. Wingstop sucks! Why do we still go there? Their wings suck. Sure, the fries might not be bad, but why are we going to a wing place not for wings? Go to Buffalo Wild Wings!
2. Grammar Villains.
How do you not know the difference between they’re, their, and there? Too and two? Through and threw? Please open a textbook or attend an elementary-level English class. Please.
1. Diet Coke/Dr. Pepper people.
Out of all the drinks, these are the drinks you declare your favorite? You want a blanket with Diet Coke on it or a lighter with Dr. Pepper? I feel like all of you are in some kind of psychosis. In what world is Diet Coke better than regular Coke? I feel like we are truly in two different worlds, and my world does not include either of these drinks.
Once again, please don’t take any of these to heart. I still love all of you that enjoy or do these things, but maybe you should look internally and decide what needs to be changed within your lifestyle.
All love,
Sam