We talk a lot about big changes. Getting into the school you dreamed off, landing that internship, ending that relationship, just starting over and reinventing yourself. I find myself every winter reflecting on who I was, am now and who I want to be in the future. However, with growth comes extremely awkward periods of discomfort and stagnation.
The point where your life has clearly shifted, but you don’t feel stable yet or truly know where you’re going to find yourself in the next few months. You clearly aren’t who you used to be, but also don’t know who you’re becoming. This is what I call the in-between season. And no one really prepares you for it.
Nothing is necessarily wrong, but nothing feels completely right either. Although it feels uncomfortable, I believe it is a super normal part of growth. Big changes alter our identity, and you are losing a version of yourself you had known prior.
Recently, I’ve been going through a season of change in my life. Since coming to college, there have been a lot of things I’ve let go of that used to serve a lot of comfort in my life. These losses have thrown me into a sense of limbo.
Sometimes I feel like I have it all together and know who I am and what I’m meant to be doing, and then other days I feel completely lost. But this is what I believe to be the season of in-between, and I just don’t think I’m meant to have it all figured out right now.
I’ve learned you can’t escape this season but you can navigate it slowly. First, you don’t need to figure it all out immediately. Something a friend told me recently it to “take it bird by bird,” meaning day by day. Thinking about all the change all at once can be overwhelming but taking it one step at a time can make it feel more bearable despite the discomfort.
Additionally, keeping up with small routines that ground you can make all the difference. For me, that’s buying a coffee most mornings and studying or going to the gym consistently. It’s small things like this that remind me of who I am, but also that there can be consistency in my day despite all the change.
It is important to have familiar habits that can give you stability when everything around you is changing. These can range from coffee to working out, watching a comfort show or practicing a reset every Sunday.
I also believe that letting yourself feel every emotion, good or bad, is crucial. It is okay to miss an old version of yourself and the things you had. Life tends to be a series of losses, and it is normal to look back and miss them. It doesn’t mean you should go back, but it just means it was something that mattered to you and held a lot of prevalence in your life.
I know for me, talking to my friends or family always helps me when I feel this way. It is good to have an outlet to explain all these complex feelings rather than keeping them in. Also, journaling has always been extremely therapeutic for me. Sometimes it is easier to be completely honest about a situation when you know no one can judge you and all the information is safe.
Not every transition has to come with an immediate transformation. Sometimes the focus is just on surviving until you can figure it out. If you feel uncertain, you aren’t behind.
The in-between season won’t last forever, even if it feels like it will. Clarity comes quietly. Confidence rebuilds slowly. Identity settles in layers.
Right now, you don’t need to have the perfect plan or a polished explanation for where your life is headed. You just need to keep showing up for yourself, one small decision at a time.