Valentine’s Day sucks. But what if it didn’t? For us single people, the day that is dedicated to love is instead full of dread and resentment. The dread of scrolling through Instagram posts of your not-so-single friends with their significant others at their candlelit dinners, captioned: “I love loving you!” or “You make every day feel like Valentine’s Day.” Resenting spending your day alone for the 53rd week in a row. It feels like a holiday specifically designed to remind you of what you don’t have and the loneliness that surrounds you. But who says we can’t change that narrative?
At its core, Valentine’s Day is simply about love. It is often painted as a day to celebrate couples and their love for each other, but love has never been that small. Love does not fit into a single category; it is for everyone, and everyone deserves to feel love.
Love shows up in places that don’t come with candle lit dinner, roses on the dining room table, or a hand to hold at the grocery store. It is present in the moments where friendship shines through. Receiving an “are u ok?” text while sitting next to your best friend at a party because she knows you’re overwhelmed. Watching your favorite show together on the living room couch. Borrowing each other’s favorite top because you admire each other’s style. The constant reassurance that you have each other’s back even though you argued about dinner plans the night before. This love deserves to be celebrated too. When you’re feeling lonely on the 14th, remind yourself of this love.
It is present even when you don’t take a moment to appreciate it. When your mom tries to give you relationship advice, but you’re convinced she has no idea what she is talking about. “Dating is not like it used to be, mom.” Your dad spotting you $10 for dinner on a Monday night because he knows what it feels like to not want to cook dinner after a long day of work. Your grandparents’ consistent calls every week just to catch up because they miss you. Your cousin group chat sending memories of everyone singing and dancing at your last family reunion 10 years ago. This love deserves to be celebrated. Send your family members a text this Valentine’s Day. Remind them of this love.
And when you truly feel like there is no love to be celebrated, you always have self-love. Never forget the days that you picked yourself up when you believed with all your heart that today would be spent in bed, no matter what. The days when your body ached from stress, but your favorite song came on and you danced in the kitchen while making yourself lunch. That time when you walked away from the job that mistreated you even though you depended on every paycheck. You are the only person you have to be with each and every day, so enjoy it. Relish in that love.
So maybe single people shouldn’t hate Valentine’s Day. Maybe there is a chance to reclaim it. To turn it into a celebration of all the ways love already exists in your life, even if none of them come wrapped in red and pink. Love doesn’t disappear just because you’re single – in fact, it multiplies, stretches, and waits patiently for you to notice it.