Whether it is a woman laughing loudly or talking too much, she is often reduced to just being “annoying.” But why is she being ridiculed for enjoying herself?
We live in a society that has been able to forgive fraud, infidelity and cruelty. However, there is one unforgivable crime that offends many: being a woman who talks a little too much.
It may seem crazy, but showing enjoyment and enthusiasm as a woman is very frowned upon. Whether it is laughing too loud, asking questions or being genuinely confident – it does not matter, if you are a woman doing these things, you should be embarrassed and should stop disrupting society with your ridiculous attempts to live your life happily. Because why shouldn’t you be constantly embarrassed by your existence? And do not even dare to be passionate about something, because nothing is worse than a girl who talks and invests herself too much into something she is interested in.
All of these behaviors I am mentioning seem normal, so why am I applying a negative attitude towards them? It is because if you are a woman exhibiting these behaviors and not acting exactly as others want you to, you are doing everything wrong and annoying. It does not matter if you are happy; you must be perfectly tailored to what society wants or else you are annoying and unforgivable.
This may seem absurd, even extreme, but these attitudes have persisted toward women throughout centuries.
A famous historical example is from the nineteenth century, when “bicycle face” was somewhat prevalent. The term “bicycle face” was used to convince people that women were unwell because they rode bicycles. “Over-exertion, the upright [and immodest] position on the wheel, and the unconscious effort to maintain one’s balance tend to produce a wearied and exhausted ‘bicycle face’” helped define this so-called “bicycle face,” according to the Literary Digest in 1895 (“Olden Life: What was bicycle face? By Sonia Zhuravlyova”). This supposed term was later debunked as a way to discourage women from advancing in society with this new, accessible mode of transportation. Additionally, it ridiculed them and deterred them from a completely normal, enjoyable activity.
Moving on to today, we see similar examples, but in less obvious or outrageous ways. For instance, people frown upon women laughing loudly in public, even in places where it is completely appropriate, such as walking down the street or at a comedy show. “Did you hear that woman laughing?” People sneer, angrily deeming it as outrageous or obnoxious. Online, women who express emotion loudly, laughing specifically, are deemed “outrageous women,” while men who express emotion the same way are often given a pass–since men’s laughter is associated with dominance, or the sexist, long-lived notion that “men are funnier than women.” A lot of times, people attempt to bring down women who laugh loudly in public by asking them if they are “on something,” insinuating that the only reason they would laugh so loudly is if they were on drugs. But laughing is a natural human reaction. No matter how a laugh comes out, loud or quiet, it is still a laugh, yet the woman is judged for how she exhibits this behavior. She is judged on how she reacts happily.
Another example is how women who are passionate are often seen as “annoying”, “opinionated” or “loud.” People do not want the passionate, assertive, opinionated woman who is proud of her passion; they want the quiet, humble woman who is bashful about her interests. To be the perfect passionate woman, you have to be silent and not enjoy your passion in the way that you want to.
People making these judgments about the situations I have talked about and numerous other scenarios one could think of do not judge how men exhibit these behaviors, even if the men laugh or express passion in the same way. However, all who partake in these judgments also do not think about why they are making these judgments. They do not stop to think, “Is that woman laughing loudly in public being annoying? Or is she just enjoying herself in a place where it is appropriate to laugh loudly? Is the woman talking about something she is passionate about annoying? Or is she just excited to share her passion with others? Why am I not this annoyed when men exhibit the same behaviors?”
Across all the examples I have listed and the many others that could apply, I have noticed that, to exist as a woman, you are often expected to live without expressing your enjoyment of life. You can have passions, but if you are too openly proud of them, you are annoying. You can laugh in public, but if it is not a cute, quiet laugh, you are obnoxious. In the nineteenth century, you could go places, but not on a bicycle because then you were “crazy.” You cannot enjoy anything unless you enjoy it in the “ideal” way, which is not how many people enjoy things.
Enjoying yourself is wonderful, but it is not exactly wonderful when the ways you enjoy it, which are completely harmless, are constantly ridiculed and put down. Women are often put down for the way they enjoy things because people find it obnoxious. This is deeply rooted in sexism, in that society does not particularly enjoy seeing women win – even if it is as simple as experiencing joy.
Now, finally, I am not sorry for talking too much about something I deeply care about. I am not being “annoying”; I am simply enjoying myself, which I should not be embarrassed about.