Nowadays, having a personality is just not enough, it needs to be specific as well. Having generic interests are overlooked as the spotlight depends on whether your interests are niche. That is what is more valuable. It is not enough to just like music anymore, it is expected that you pick a specific genre and adapt to the aesthetic and personality that comes with it. Consider an individual who likes indie music. Enjoying the song isn’t enough. There’s a hidden expectation that their taste should influence everything else, that their outfits should appear effortlessly carefree, their Instagram should feel carefully chosen but uncluttered, and their personality should be thoughtful but slightly detached. They are supposed to romanticize little cafés, seem dismissive to anything too popular, and favor vinyl over playlists. It feels like they’ve betrayed their character if they confess to loving a popular song or something mainstream. As if appreciating indie music involves committing to a full personality, not just a sound.
It feels like there is a pressure for your hobbies to be interesting. Something that draws attention to you, prompts questions, and helps people remember you. Not just “I like music” or “I like movies,” but something with a twist, such as being able to perform card tricks, collecting unusual items, fixing antique cameras or having a talent that sparks conversation right away. Having a talent that is both effortless enough to appear natural yet distinctive enough to be fascinating.
This pressure to be niche was built brick by brick, thanks to scrolling on the internet. With each reel you scroll past, you begin to notice that everyone on the internet appears to have a distinct identity. They consistently have similar interests. They have a recognizable personality. Their information makes sense. Thus, you begin to question, without even realizing it, ‘What’s my thing?’, ‘What category do I fall under?’. Clarity is highly valued on the internet. It adores labels that it can comprehend, classify, and promote to the intended audience. However, people are not constructed like content strategies. Our moods fluctuate. We contradict ourselves. Without expressing it, we outgrow things.
A distinct personality ensures a sense of inclusion. Perhaps people will find you, identify with you, and follow you if you are clear enough about who you are. However there is a downside to it as well. Before you speak, you begin editing yourself. When something doesn’t “match your vibe,” you are hesitant to like it. You minimize hobbies that don’t fit with your current persona. Your personality gradually shifts from being curious to being consistent. Additionally, there is an odd fear of change. Growing seems dangerous when your identity is apparent, whether online or offline. The fear of not being recognisable, relevant and appearing confused stems in. Therefore people feel more comfortable curating than growing.
Ironically, this pressure exists outside of social media as well. Whether it’s in a friend group or a classroom, people are reduced to certain labels such as “the creative one”, “the funny one” or “the smart one”. These labels tend to stick once assigned. Even if you grow out of these labels, it feels uncomfortable breaking out of them.
Funnily enough, all the people I have come across who I thought were interesting, were the ones who were layered with different personalities. The ones who contradicted themselves. Their personalities weren’t simplified to just one or two adjectives. The issue is not that you want to be interesting. It’s the feeling that you have to package yourself in order to get attention.