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U Vic | Life

8-Step Guide on How To Be Single and Thrive

Sona Eidnani Student Contributor, University of Victoria
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Vic chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

It has been almost a year since I ended my two-year-long relationship, and I have learned so much since then. If you’re considering breaking up with your partner, newly single, or not into the modern dating scene, here’s how to thrive while being single!

Step 1: Friendship

The key to being single is having platonic connections and friendships. Without my friends, my life would feel meaningless. They keep me sane, support me, and spend time with me the same way I would with a partner. I know making friends can be hard, but I assure you, most people want new connections too; they’re just afraid to make the first move.

Step 2: Hobbies

Without my numerous hobbies, I would be incredibly bored and might even consider getting into a relationship. But if I’m being honest, that is not what I want right now. Hobbies are a great way to meet new people and learn new things about yourself! Pick up a new craft, learn how to sew, bake sourdough if it really comes down to it, because hobbies are literal life savers.

Step 3: Stay Active

Moving your body can not only help with ruminating thoughts, but it’s also a great way to foster connection with yourself. I love going on walks alone with nothing but the sound of the forest or waves crashing along the beach’s shore. It’s a great way to stay active and clear your head.

Step 4: Embrace the Freedom

The best part about being single is being able to do whatever the heck you want. Flirt around a little (or a lot), go on dates with cool people, and take every opportunity you can because you don’t have to consider anyone else’s stance on it.

Step 5: Challenge Yourself

The best part about being single is being able to do whatever the heck you want. Flit around a little (or a lot), go on dates with cool people, and take every opportunity you can because you don’t have to consider anyone else’s stance on it.

Step 5: Challenge Yourself

Being single really pushed me out of my comfort zone. I went from having someone to constantly hang out with to having to embrace being alone. I find it so rewarding to go to events alone, try new things, and set goals for myself I would’ve otherwise forgotten about. 

Step 6: Journal

Reflection is the key to finding success in the future. For myself, I journaled a lot after my breakup. I wrote down everything I liked and didn’t like about my past relationships so I could learn from my experiences.

Step 7: Take Yourself Out

Go on dates with yourself. It may seem silly, but it’s so important to treat yourself the way you would want to be treated in a relationship. When I find the time, I love getting myself sushi or sketching at a cafe in the presence of my own great company

Step 8: Focus on Personal Growth

Staying the same is boring, so use this time to create your dream life. Put yourself out there, sign up for a course you wouldn’t regularly take, or even sign up for therapy. Relationships tend to distract us from inner work, so use this period of solitude to become the best version of yourself.

Being single doesn’t have to be some sad sob fest filled with wallowing and self-pity. I have learned through these eight steps that it’s some of the most fun you’ll ever have. So, if you’re considering breaking up with your mediocre partner or struggling to see the positives of your new single lifestyle, follow these steps, and I promise, you’ll fall in love with your single self.

Sona is a fourth-year student majoring in writing and minoring in art education. She has been writing and pitching stories for the Martlet in her spare time since her third year. She enjoys creative non-fiction, playwriting, and journalism. Topics she writes about include mental health, opinions, and the environment.

In her free time, she loves going to Arbutus and Spiral Beach to collect sea glass. Sona is passionate about art, ceramics, writing, music, and biking. Being creative is one of her favourite pastimes because of the mental clarity it gives her. Whether through music, writing, or art, Sona continues to explore new ways to express herself.