All over social media, influencers and brands promote the ideas of “self-care” and “self-love”, making them feel like unachievable aesthetics instead of valuable action items to better your life. Buying certain products or going to certain workout classes might empower you in the short run, but I’ve found that the best ways to increase self-confidence and sustain it are free and just take a little reflection. Here are 5 tips for building a more confident you:
- Celebrate rejection
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We’ve all been there! Whether it be from the college process, asking out a crush, or even just getting a grade you didn’t want on an exam, experiencing rejection is flat-out hard. It can shake your confidence and impact the way you approach similar situations in the future. But it doesn’t have to! Take time to feel your emotions, and then look for something positive to come out of the rejection. Maybe now you don’t have to go to college with the person you hated from high school, or maybe you have room for a new romantic connection. If I didn’t get a bad grade on my first macroeconomics exam, I probably wouldn’t have studied as hard and done as well on the next one! Recognizing even just one silver lining can help take away the sting of rejection and protect your confidence from cracking.
- Ground yourself in reality
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In the age of edited photos and perfectly curated social media feeds, it can be difficult to separate what’s real and what’s fake. It’s easy to get lost in the beauty standards of trending creators and feel like you’re not enough if you’re not just like them. It’s important to remember that much of what we see online is not as it seems. Certain lighting, makeup, and software can alter the look of bodies and faces, and people often only share the positive things that are happening to them, not the negatives behind the scenes. Taking a step back to question the content you consume and remind yourself of the orchestration that actually goes on behind the scenes can help you stop feeling like you have to achieve what you see. Better yet, unfollow creators or people who don’t make you feel happy, and consider following creators who promote body positivity and showing the real you. One of my favorites is Spencer Barbosa!
- Write out achievable goals
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Knowing what you want in life is a great builder of self-confidence, but it can be hard to decipher those aspirations, especially with pressure from people asking question after question (can you tell I’m a graduating senior?). These goals don’t have to be big or out there to be legitimate and for you to be proud of achieving. I like to write out a list of things to work toward that I know I can make happen, so that I can experience small victories, and it gives me the confidence to pursue my larger and more long-term goals. It could be going to the gym for one more day a week than you already do, or setting aside more time to work on a craft you enjoy, or even trying two new restaurants a month. No matter what you choose, you can feel proud of yourself for achieving something and learn more about yourself in the process. Physically writing out these goals on paper can help keep yourself accountable and motivated every time you peek at your list!
- Create a power playlist
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Have you ever been asked the question: what songs would be on the soundtrack to your life? It doesn’t have to be hypothetical! I’ve found that listening to music can help clear my mind of distractions and invite positive thinking and energy to fill it instead. Having a playlist at the ready of songs that you know make you feel powerful is a great way to give yourself a boost of confidence on the way to a nerve-wracking exam, interview, or social setting. Some of my favorite songs for this purpose are TIT FOT TAT by Tate McRae, Maneater by Nelly Furtado, and Dancing on My Own by Robyn.
- Surround yourself with people who uplift you
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We are just as influenced by the people around us as we are by the changes we make for ourselves. Constantly being around people who put you down in small and big ways can take a toll on your self-esteem and confidence over time, and you might not even realize it. Take some time to consider whether your friends, romantic partner, and other people in your life celebrate your accomplishments and are there for you when things get tough. If they spend more time making fun of what brings you joy or letting their jealousy get in the way, some space from them might be what you need to let the inspiration flow. Feeling supported in your goals and in even the most mundane parts of your life can make all the difference in believing in yourself. When you’re with the right people, you’ll feel unstoppable!
Everyone deserves to feel their best and move through life with confidence, and I hope these tips can help you on your way there!