My College Wrapped: Graduation and Life Lessons

This is my five years of college, wrapped into one neat bundle of words and phrases that define who I am. I thought I knew who I was in high school. I thought I was confident, kind, bold, and honest. Looking back now, I realize only one of those was true. I was honest. But seeing who I am now makes me realize that in high school, I was floating in a sea of expectations shaped by what everyone else wanted from me. I wasn’t truly kind, or confident, or bold, because I was too busy trying to fit the expectations. In truth, I wasn’t much of anything at all. 

Whenever my teachers would announce that we would “go around the classroom and share an interesting fact about ourselves,” my heart would sink. Not just from the fear of speaking in front of the whole class, but from the realization that I didn’t think I had anything worth sharing. I had no true hobbies and found little joy in anything but hanging out with the one true friend I had throughout high school.  I had no ideas or plans for the future. I felt lost with only the expectations of others to guide me to what and who I was “supposed” to be. 

And so I went to college. 

I never liked my hometown. I wanted to get out as soon as I moved there. College was my escape. I went across the state searching for independence, friends, fun, or really just any sense of self I could grasp onto. I thought I needed to get away from everyone and everything I knew to figure out who I was without them. What I found was that without my family, I was lost. Alone. I worked hard to build a life for myself there, but it didn’t matter how many new friends I made, how many restaurants I learned to love and frequent, how many routines I built, every day was a struggle without the support of my family by my side. I learned that they were my anchor, my home. And getting through college would be impossible without them to cheer me on. 

When I learned this about myself, I moved home and transferred to my current school, USF. And with their support, I found a clearer path forward. 

My self-confidence, however, didn’t just appear, it arrived a year ago disguised as two accounting classes. 

Before you laugh, understand that I had attempted to take these courses two other semesters before and failed. I was intimidated to try again. But I had reached a crossroads. I had wasted too much time running away from the courses that, if I didn’t take both accounting courses in one semester, would cause me to fall behind in my course progression. I told myself I was different now, more capable.

So I enrolled in two eight-week courses back to back. Everyone warned me how intense they’d be. The task towered over me, as I approached it with little confidence knowing I’d failed twice before. But this time, failure was no option. I spent countless hours studying, attending tutoring sessions, and pushing myself further than I have for any class. 

And somehow, I did more than pass. By the end of the semester I was receiving the award for the best accounting student across all the accounting courses at the school, officialized by a glass plaque. And while passing two accounting courses may seem like a small feat to some, it was monumental to me. Whenever my confidence falters, I look at the plaque and remember that I am resourceful, resilient, and capable of anything if I am willing to put in the work.

I gained something far greater than confidence while I’ve been in school. I gained a voice. 

I picked up reading as a hobby, quickly becoming my favorite escape. It’s mine alone. No expectations, no rules, no guidelines. I can read whatever I want when I want. My love for reading sparked my idea to write. 

I joined Her Campus as a writer. It gave me a platform and the chance to forget about only speaking of what I deemed worthy of interest to others, and to start asking about what I wanted to say. I learned that I love writing, and I am actually pretty good at it. I write about serious things like love or simple things like holiday activities. The point is, I finally found a way to answer that dreaded question: “tell us about yourself.” 

Well, I’m a writer.

I’m a reader.

I’m a worker.

I’m a listener.

I’m sensitive, kind, and thoughtful.

I’m confident and bold.

I’m resourceful and smart. 

I am everything I choose to be. 

And so now, as graduation creeps up, threatening to toss me into the wide abyss of the world and its possibilities, I do not fear. I trust myself. College tested me with loneliness, heartbreak, failure, and self-doubt. I faced every challenge, and in return, I gained the skills, strength, and self-awareness I need to navigate the challenges I face ahead. Just like I did here, I’ll find my way. 

• college
• college experience
• graduation
• mental health
• personal essay