“Figuring out life” is something that is often talked about, especially in the younger generation. For most young adults, it is a stressful topic because it puts pressure on us to figure everything out when it is not up to us to figure it out. Many of us think by 22, we should have our own apartment, our dream car, the relationship of our dreams, our career plan fully figured out, the best resume, and jobs lined up as soon as graduation caps fly in the air. This is possible; however, if you always focus on what your next step is without enjoying where you are, you will never be content with your current situation. You will always want more. Your lists, planners, and vision boards will keep getting bigger, longer, and more stressful if you put pressure on them to be perfect. The truth is that everything will never be figured out. Life has unexpected turns; not every deadline will be met, not every job will be for you, and not every relationship will turn out the way you thought it would. Even though it would be nice to plan out our lives step by step and have it all go according to plan, setting unrealistic expectations can lead to burnout, perfectionism, and anxiety about every step in your story.
Your twenties are a starting point to adulthood, not your destination. As young adults, we are constantly evolving, changing, and learning, which comes with setbacks, failure, and challenges. Our trials and tribulations are meant to develop us, not define us. Never compare your progress to those around you—we are all on different paths. Furthermore, speed does not equal success. Good things take time, and rushing success makes it harder, so remember to give yourself grace and celebrate all your wins, no matter whether they are big or small. Below are simple ways to encourage success in your path and gentle reminders that life is never fully figured out.
1. Focus on progress, never perfection. Small steps lead to big accomplishments.
2. Make plans; do not let them make you. Do not let your plans define every step of your success or decide how you feel about yourself.
3. Build good habits to set you up for success. Habits are a big aspect of success, but they are not everything.
4. Let your passion for your career, relationships, and education motivate you toward success, not force you.
5. Learn from your mistakes without shame. Your mistakes are meant to help you grow, not stabilize you.
Keep these as reminders that life will never be figured out and that you do not need to have things figured out to know who you are supposed to be. Love yourself, love your progress, and love your journey.