The scariest part of an apocalypse isn’t the fear of dying, the wreckage, or even the mass hysteria. The truly terrifying part is the abandonment, the eerie quiet. Where there were once laughter and loud conversations, only silence would ensue. The idea of facing the end of the world alone—that is what we fear the most. To be left on our own is our greatest downfall: a flaw we all share whether we acknowledge it or not.
This world is undoubtedly filled with challenges, and while we sometimes must face them alone, no two challenges are the same—there can never be one true solution. One approach may work for one obstacle, but it isn’t guaranteed to work every single time; not every challenge can be done on our own just as there is no single approach. There is a fine line between self-isolation and independence, so thin that we often blur the two together. Being independent is an important skill, becoming solely dependent on others will lead only to self-destruction, but allowing yourself to occasionally rely on others is equally as important. Nobody can work infinitely; you cannot give your full effort every single day. Eventually, you burn out, burdened with the heaviness of overexertion and depleted of self-esteem until you become a shell of your former self—until you’re unable to recognize yourself.
Time will become irrelevant, planting an emptiness so deep within you that it will seem impossible to escape the vastness. The loneliness will seep into every aspect of life, making you want to give up rather than push forward. You will cease working towards your goals, forced to only dreaming of them, because you believed it was better to tackle life alone than to reach out. Often, we avoid the help from our loved ones because we fear burdening others with our feelings, but to ask for support is a strength, not a weakness; to embrace your mistakes or understand when you’ve reached your limit is a skill many overlook. To live your life by walking on eggshells isn’t living at all, but rather simply a means to surviving and a waste of life’s gifts—why should everyone else enjoy what this world has to offer and not you?
It can be terrifying letting people in. You become vulnerable to them, and it can absolutely lead to feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt. Who do you trust? Who can you rely on? Who won’t judge you? Who loves you no matter what? The unfortunate truth is that there is no straightforward answer. Many people believe that “blood is thicker than water,” but you can’t control who will and won’t hurt you—just because someone is related to you doesn’t mean they are innocent of forcing you down a path you never asked for. Even if their intention is to help you, their idea of what is best for you can turn out to be your worst nightmare, bringing us back to square one: who can you trust?
There is no greater betrayal than being hurt by those you trusted most, realizing they sat back and watched you slowly lose yourself for their sakes. It’s a hard pill to swallow and it makes sense why you would hesitate the next time someone offers you their hand, especially when all your life you have only known to live for others and not yourself. You hesitate because you no longer trust you won’t be hurt, but loneliness is a sickness disguised as self-love. You think being alone and ghosting everyone will help you heal, but really you only add to the damage. The sun will still rise, the plants will still grow, and people will still go about their day, nothing will change by reducing yourself to the corner of a room. The world will still move on and that movement is something you don’t want to miss out on. To love oneself does not mean to navigate life alone; yes, you will get hurt, you will worry about past mistakes resurfacing, and you deserve time to yourself, but never let it become your lifestyle.
“True inner peace comes from a balance of alone and social time.”
Neither extremity will fulfill you on its own, but together, there is no better sense of serenity. I’ve always hated the saying, “at the end of the day, you only have yourself” because it couldn’t be further from the truth. There will be moments where independency is preferred and even necessary, but there will also be moments where being surrounded by others will save your sanity. Humans relying on one another has been an age-old truth, one that to this day we can’t ignore because we all need a break once in a while. Even in fiction, the main characters can never succeed on their own, they always have help from side characters. There is strength in both being independent and reliant on others, knowing how to balance the two is the key to overcoming all of life’s greatest challenges.
You are not a means to an end: you deserve to live for yourself. It can be devastating to let go of the people who hurt you because they still mean everything to you, but letting yourself be hurt by their touch will only prevent you from reaching your fullest potential. Some people will never love or appreciate you the way you want, but don’t just watch them shower others with the affection you crave—follow your own path and walk alongside the people who can appreciate you. Don’t be afraid to be alone, time heals, but don’t shy away from opening up again either; everyone needs a little support whether it be by pulling an all-nighter together to cram for your exam or a quick trip to the mall to get your mind off other stressors. The tiny details are what truly matter and eventually, you will experience them again.
The world isn’t black and white; it is very much grey, but the shade of grey depends on you. Learn to be okay with being alone and learn to bask in the comfort of others, find the balance that makes you happy. Be selfish, share your feelings with others and go out every Friday night. It’s your heart and your life—you are allowed to feel deeply about even the tiniest of things. You are not weak for needing to be alone nor are you weak for being dependent, you deserve to have the best of both worlds because once you do, you will never doubt your purpose again.