Anyone who has a habit of normally frequenting anywhere has experienced the familiar face.
You see them when you walk to class, passing every day on the sidewalk. You recognize them at random when you’re out and about. You live on the same side of town, frequent the same places, go to the same gym and somehow always end up at the same bar.
You know who I’m talking about. And you know the awkwardness of never being brave enough to say hello to them. Instead, you silently peek and recognize to yourself, “Hey, that’s that person I always see around.”
You’re off the hook if you’ve already said “what’s up?” to them. And you get bonus points if you’ve ever run into them at an obscure location, like a bathroom or a doctor’s office.
But for you, who hasn’t had the courage to say hello, your days of silence are over. Enough is enough. It’s time you learn the art and benefit of the mutual wave.
Everyone loves to be recognized
To be recognized is to be seen and sometimes as people, that’s all we need. On the opposite side of “you never know what someone’s going through,” and the mantra of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it,” a little mutual wave goes a long way.
A distant wave brushes the surface of who we are, pleasant, inviting and kind. Sometimes, especially now in the winter months, when everything feels like doom, and the sky tells a similar story, a little pleasant reminder of who we are can change the whole day.Â
A wave to signify you’re seen, a wave to remind you you are not alone, that your face is one that brings recognition, creates connection. Little things make us feel human, and even when we’re not sad, feeling human is all we need.
Happy to see you!
Sometimes, it’s nice to be brought away from the depth that makes us up.
Your mutual wave doesn’t know about your family problems, the fight you’re in with your partner or the struggles you have in the gym. They just know that you’re there and they’ll wave to you as you always do to them.
Like a dog that’s happy to see you, a mutual wave will always be happy to connect, simple as it may be.
Inconsequential Conversation
Now, there remains a certain glory in keeping your mutual wave at a distance. So that they may never introspect and break the law of “happy to see you,” so that you never have to make awkward conversation or even to avoid discovering you don’t like who they are…whatsoever.
Yet often there is a greater glory contained in taking things just a bit further.
If your mutual wave is at a distance, doesn’t know you besides your schedule, and has no idea about your problems, use them as an outlet that serves more than just a friendly face. Make drunken conversation at the bar to kill time, make them your go-to spotter in the gym, perhaps you always enter the busy dining hall as they leave, maybe ask them to save you their seat.
The connection between you and your mutual wave can turn into more than a moment of them pulling you away from your racing thoughts; it can turn into a world of casual, carefree interaction.Â
Speak freely, your friendly face is detached from your world, so the world you create with them is detached as well. No strings, no mutual friends, no mutual enemies. Just enjoyable conversation or perhaps the outlet to vent inconsequentially.
Relationship possibilities
Considering the possibilities, a mutual wave can turn into something much more significant than a wave. A mutual wave can turn into a friend, or even a lover.
Start with your intentions small, the desire to engage with a friendly face. But now, naturally, as you’ve opened the floodgates of recognition, your relationship with your wave has room to progress. Instead of walking past each other, walk towards each other.
Don’t be afraid to see how long you two can enjoy conversation, don’t be afraid to introduce your friends to the mutual wave. Keep it carefree but expand your universe and theirs by allowing them to be involved in more.
On every layer you can imagine, the art of the mutual wave simply boils down to the art of being human. And as we all know, art has no rules. Take your wave as far or as near as it may go, and take that distance analogy as you will.
initiating the wave
Hopefully I’ve versed you enough on the benefits of approaching your soon to be mutual wave. Now, take your belief in what I’ve told you and carry the feeling with you until it’s time:
“Hey, I always pass you on my way to econ-” or “I see you around all the time,” of course, always lead with “-what’s your name? Okay, cool, I’ll see you around.”
The very crucial contingency in this plan is that you do not chicken out. It may feel daunting or awkward to approach someone at first, but if you believe in the benefits of a mutual wave, they eventually, if not instantaneously, will too.
So, keep at it and keep on waving. And if you see me around, I beg you to smile and wave at me. I like being a friendly face.