You are getting ready to go to bed and get more than four hours of sleep when all of a sudden, your phone buzzes and your heart skips a beat. It’s him, the troll, er, I mean, boy that is more hot and cold than the Katy Perry song. You unlock your screen to see… “u up?” You are surprised by his use of proper punctuation, but other than that, it’s the same text he always sends. Deep down, you know this is the emotional equivalent of receiving a blank piece of paper, but you still want to respond; it’s like a train wreck you can’t look away from. It’s time to end the days when we’d stare at our phones, overanalyzing a single word like it’s a hidden love confession. We’re all past that because the “bare minimum boy” era is officially out.
The End of “Maybe He’s Just Busy”
For a long time, we made excuses. “He’s probably just bad at texting.” “He’s shy.” “He’s not on his phone that much.” Girl, we all know that’s not true. If he can post on his Instagram story and like a meme about SpongeBob, he can send more than one-word responses. I’m so glad to see young women realizing that they don’t have to chase these boys or decode their texts. We’re not falling for low effort anymore; instead, we’re prioritizing energy that matches ours. Because what’s more attractive than someone who’s genuinely interested in you and puts in the effort to show it?
This shift isn’t just about dating; it’s also about self-respect. We’ve stopped confusing a mysterious man with someone who is just emotionally unavailable. We’re no longer finding “bare minimum” behavior charming. Now, we’re noticing who plans the date, who remembers small details, and who actually asks questions that go deeper than “wyd.” And, shocking to no one, it’s not your bare minimum, boy.
Texting Like You Care Isn’t That Hard
Let’s get one thing straight before we continue: no one’s asking for a 3-paragraph love letter at 9 a.m. We just don’t want a conversation that feels like pulling teeth, because it’s probably not worth it. Texting “hey” might open a chat, but effort keeps it going; effort from both people makes it a conversation. These dry texts that guys send are like showing up to a potluck without bringing anything, technically; you’re there, but you didn’t add anything to the vibe. We want conversations with banter and substance. Something playful, thoughtful or at least slightly creative. I don’t want to feel like I’m talking to a brick wall because if I wanted that, I’d go talk to Century Tower (which I think I’d probably have a better conversation with than a nonchalant man).
Effort Is Attractive
Effort isn’t about grand gestures or constant texting; it’s really just about consistency. It’s showing interest, planning ahead, actually making someone feel seen and being genuine. Whether it’s remembering your coffee order, asking how your exam went or sending a video that made them think of you, those small moments matter. When we prioritize these small moments that make us feel loved, we raise the bar and attract people who are willing to meet it. The sad truth is you can’t build something meaningful with someone who doesn’t even care enough to type a sentence or talk to you in person outside of Snapchat. Effort is hot. Confidence is hot. Authenticity is hot. Leaving a nonchalant man on read is hot.
Find Yourself a Robert Irwin
If Robert Irwin can feed crocodiles, rescue wildlife and still make time to be the sweetest man alive, then someone can at least keep the conversation going. Robert has somehow become the internet’s standard of a walking green flag energy. He is kind, thoughtful, passionate and actually interested in something beyond himself. He’s proof that chivalry isn’t dead; it’s just, unfortunately, a celebrity from Australia and not a man attending UF. Robert has the energy that so many women want to see more of. We don’t want to chase dry texters; we want someone who is curious, intentional and genuinely present.
You know what you want, and if someone who matches your energy wants to talk to you, they will. If they don’t, that’s your cue to stop checking your phone and start living your life. Go on a walk, start that playlist, text your best friend or take a nap (trust me, you’ve earned it). So don’t waste your time trying to convince someone to see the amazing person that’s right in front of them; it’s their loss.