Whether you are an immigrant, a second-generation, or anyone else who tries to embrace your cultural identity, holding on to the threads of your cultural roots can be both exciting and complicated. The United States is known as one of the most diverse countries in the world, often described as a melting pot of people from different ethnic, national, and cultural backgrounds. However, the term “melting pot” is problematic because it assumes that people from diverse backgrounds must shed their previous identities to assimilate and develop an American identity. Some critics instead advocate for the “salad bowl” concept, which highlights how immigrants can participate in a shared society while still retaining their unique cultural identities.
Diversity should be celebrated. Many famous cuisines, festivals, and traditions—like the Lunar New Year, Asian Pacific Heritage Month, Ramadan, and Juneteenth—are known and celebrated in the US because people courageously chose to share their heritage. Yet, it can be challenging to balance embracing your roots with fitting in, and many immigrant parents choose to prioritize fitting in because they worry that encouraging their children to connect deeply with their heritage might make them less proficient, less accepted, or less successful in American society. However, strengthening that connection can instead give children a stronger foundation and a better sense of self, giving them the ability to move confidently between different spaces
As the child of immigrants, I have found embracing my Pakistani background to be joyful, yet at times challenging. Growing up, my family and I always kept pieces of our Pakistani and South Asian heritage visible in our home, from the delicious aroma of biryani and haleem to listening to Atif Aslam and Shreya Ghoshal, and the excitement of getting new clothes from Pakistan or putting on mehndi (henna). These are the kinds of moments that bring me genuine happiness.
At times, those same cultural elements made it harder to connect with some of my peers. Because I spent more time listening to South Asian music or watching Pakistani dramas, I sometimes struggled to relate to popular culture references at school, which occasionally made making friends more difficult. Over time, though, I found people who appreciated and understood my preferences, were curious about my culture, and were just as excited to share elements of their own heritage.
It wasn’t like I was totally unversed with American pop culture; I would watch movies occasionally or listen to BeyoncĂ© or Adele-but South Asian and Pakistani influences were the constants. Whether it was a song, drama, food, or clothing, those were the elements I knew I could always count on to bring comfort, joy, or calm. I also found language to be an avenue for connection. We have always spoken mostly Urdu at home, but I decided to learn to read and write Urdu during COVID. Not because I was told to do so, but rather because I had grown to love the language and its poetic roots, an Indo-Aryan language with influences from Arabic and Persian.
I am proud to be bilingual and to say that I am fond of reading and listening to Urdu Shayari (poetry), love learning about traditional embroidery and craftsmanship techniques, and fully embrace dressing up as a desi girl. For me, language, food, music, and clothing are all threads that tie me to my Pakistani heritage and help me feel grounded, even when I am navigating different cultural spaces.
Finding a connection to your cultural roots can strengthen your sense of self, deepen your identity, and open up new avenues for connecting with others. You can start small, such as learning a few words in your mother tongue, cooking a meal from a family or cultural recipe, listening to music or watching a show from your heritage, learning a craft or exploring traditional art forms, dressing up in cultural clothes for an event, or spending time diving into the history and stories of your culture. With the advent of digital technology, finding videos and information relating to one’s heritage has never been easier, but you can also talk to family and friends to learn more and express curiosity about your cultural roots.
The threads of your cultural identity don’t have to be ones you continuously pick and alternate through as you weave moments and build your identity. They can be woven together so that you can authentically embrace your roots, without having to pick and choose. You can find different avenues and spend some moments finding that balance and reflecting, but even if it isn’t always perfectly balanced, it is all right, because culture is complicated, deeply personal, and meant to be part of an ongoing journey of discovering who you are.