You’re fresh out of a relationship, your ego is shattered, but luckily you have friends, your TV, Spotify and social media love experts to support you – or so you think. A modern trend may be steering you onto a path of dismay, the rise of social media has prompted both a surge of harmful and nonsensical advice when it comes to dating, as well as increased isolation episodes in Americans. This isolation and poor advice cause a lack of empathy and personal accountability, so you stand there with nothing left but to label your ex as “the evil ex.”
Expanding technologies have led to fewer face-to-face interactions between people. Cashier jobs have become sparse due to the introduction of the self-checkout; there is no need to greet food delivery drivers at your door with online payments and you are now convinced to buy products through influencers instead of in-store salespeople. Moreover, AI is projected to replace thirty percent of current American jobs by 2030.
The likelihood of someone having a parasocial relationship has increased dramatically over the past five years as well. This can also lead to mental health issues and intense episodes of depression over TV characters and celebrities’ deaths, impacting the individuals as though the relationship were real, as pointed out in Anna Carolina’s 2024 Vogue article, “In a Celebrity-Obsessed World, Have We Reached Peak Parasocial?”
Influencer relationships can be particularly detrimental to your health as unprofessionals can post their opinions on serious matters such as manipulation and behavioral disorders, convincing you that your ex was not only evil, but perhaps crazy as well. Anyone can also promote advice as they see fit, and this advice could be detrimental to your mental well-being. They advise you to get revenge on your ex in dangerous and illegal ways, as well as recommending manipulation tactics as a form of revenge, and teach you how to diagnose your ex with a personality disorder are video categories with millions of views and likes.
Isolated individuals, especially vulnerable ones, are more likely to feed into this content and not recognize the dangers behind it. These influencers are taking advantage of heartbroken people for views, while putting the audience at risk of harming someone else, and guaranteeing they will be trapped in a state of hatred that wreaks havoc on their health.
All of this goes to show that people are isolated from one another now more than ever. This isolation is not recognized by the vast majority of individuals experiencing it, since they are filling the void with digital interactions. However, this is the equivalent of filling a gas tank with water; humans evolved to depend on real human interactions, not virtual ones.
Face-to-face interactions are needed for a healthy social life, with the caveat that for a majority of individuals, their friends will be heavily biased. Now, this has always been the case, but the increase of digital media has prompted isolation and has led to smaller friend groups and fewer interactions with others.
Isolating yourself to minimal interaction makes you view the world through one mindset, and one with very few perspectives, as you are not spending time viewing a myriad of them. You are limiting yourself from witnessing people’s multifaceted nature, making it harder for you to open your mind to your ex’s perspective.
To label someone as “evil” is to say that they are malicious to their core and have no sympathy nor purity. People with individualist mindsets have a limited amount of self-awareness and also lack the self-esteem to admit to their mistakes.
It is much easier to huddle around your friends and engage in targeted media to reassure yourself of your greatness and blame the world around you. But does this really result in happiness flowing out of your body, or does it result in a cycle of bitterness and resentment? We tend to view evil figures as out to get us and a threat, so subconsciously, we are causing an unpleasant state of mind.
Take the time to step back and view yourself from an outsider’s perspective, as well as your ex’s perspective. Of course, abusive relationships exist, and “evil” people exist, and these accusations are less likely to be taken seriously by the court of public opinion if everyone is constantly running someone’s name through the mud.
A relationship between two people is not one-sided; usually, both parties are at fault to some degree, learn to acknowledge your mistakes and move on. Forever viewing someone as the predator and yourself as the prey will leave your body on high alert and constantly stressed.