The TikTok trend “I Look Better in the Dark,” which uses lyrics from “Better in the Dark” by Jordana & TV Girl, highlights hair color changes — people show a “lighter” look with the line “the lighter makes a spark,” then switch to a darker look with “but I look better in the dark.” It’s a simple yet cute trend that demonstrates how dramatically hair color can alter one’s appearance and self-presentation.
However, if we take this trend and bring it to an emotional level, we could relate these song lyrics to anything. In my opinion, these song lyrics resonate with me about how I got out of my toxic relationship and the transition from light to dark. When I was with my boyfriend at the time, I did in fact believe I had everything, and life was so light and easy going at the time. It was easy to get lost in the happiness and forget the reality. Relationships often look glamorous from the outside, family gets excited for you, friends are happy for you, and overall, it’s such a good feeling to be able to tell people about your new relationship. Everything seems “light” and easy until it isn’t.
Things get hard, people get treated poorly, and when do we know when to walk away from that person? Some people spend their whole lives trying to walk away from a toxic person in their life, and some never ever tolerate the disrespect- those people are lucky. But once your self-respect is stripped away from you, it gets harder to let go of something you’ve always held on to. I think for me personally, I wanted to prove everyone wrong. When my friends, family, school, and I started to notice how badly this relationship was affecting me in all aspects, I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I wanted to change the dynamic from toxic to healthy just to say I could.
When you start seeing your friends less and less, start doing poorly in school, mental health declines, arguing with your parents, and your family starts disapproving of your relationship, that’s when things start to twist. Even though this is when things are falling apart, relationships are still perceived as being “in the light” because they’re public and supposed to make you glow. Transitioning to the “dark” means closing the curtain and choosing time for yourself. It means you can leave, start again, and reclaim your self-respect.
Leaving is never easy, whether it’s your relationship or someone else’s. Time heals it all as well. People “look better in the dark” because they’ve stopped trying to force something that isn’t right. For my post, I’d pair a photo from my relationship with “the lighter makes a spark” and a current photo of myself with “but I look better in the dark.” The contrast shows how much healthier I am now- not because I’m in the spotlight, but because I’m finally for myself.
These song lyrics can run so deep emotionally and can surface a change in any of our lives. I think this trend could be so healing to people, as we could see the transition from toxic relationships to either a healthy one or being healthy with ourselves. This trend and these lyrics can be so deep and personal, and it’s okay to start over and step out of the light and go into the dark, because you may find yourself in a better spot. Some people on TikTok share text messages when they were in a toxic relationship and how they sent paragraphs to the person. They put that with the ‘lighter makes a spark’ and they put how they got out of that relationship and are ‘better in the dark’ now that they are out of the relationship, with a photo of texts standing up for themselves. Healing is not linear, and it is such a long and prosperous journey. Loving someone can be beautiful and exciting, and so can letting someone go. I think that’s what is most important about this trend and these lyrics, that life can go on no matter what and it’s okay to let things go for your own peace to move forward. Love will find you in small and large ways throughout life, if you pay close attention, love IS all around you.
This trend is empowering because it gives us a way to say things we never knew how to put into words. This TikTok trend can be a message of solidarity to anyone who is stuck in “the light.” Maybe the point isn’t choosing between light and dark- maybe it’s realizing you get to decide what feels right for you. And sometimes, the dark is simply where you finally see yourself clearly.