We’ve all seen the aesthetic college girl who seems to have everything perfectly put together. She shows up in style, always says the right thing, color codes her notes, and never seems to forget anything. Not a birthday, not a deadline, nothing. She has a thriving social life, an active routine, and a constant glow that suggests she floats through college rather than just surviving it. We’re surrounded by curated snapshots of this perfect girl all the time – and honestly, it’s exhausting. Especially when you compare it to your own life, which might look a lot more like mine.
the hidden labor of looking perfect
My day definitely doesn’t start with Pilates, a matcha latte, and journaling before heading to class. I’m certainly not off my phone for an hour after waking up, and I’m not drinking 2.5 liters of water a day. Instead, my mornings usually begin with hitting the snooze button four times because I went to bed too late, checking my messages, chugging a coffee, and rushing to class hoping I’m not late… again.
For a long time, I tried so hard to be this put-together girl. I started studying way earlier than I needed to, wrote lab reports the day they were assigned, stayed up until 2 or 3 am to finish everything, and summarized lectures like my life depended on it. And you know what that let to? Exhaustion.The truth is, being ‘put-together’ all the time isn’t as aesthetic or admirable as it looks. It comes with constant pressure to do everything perfectly, and eventually, it wears you down.
And that’s the plot twist: the problem was never that I wasn’t organized or that I wasn’t studying enough or doing too little sport. The problem was that I believed I had to look organized and be the ‘I have everything under control’ – type. Somewhere between high school and college, being a student turned into a performance. Suddenly, it’s not enough to attend class and give your best – we also have to appear calm, stylish, rested, social and thriving- all that while we might actually not feel like any of that at all. The myth of the ‘put-together girl’ has become the side quest none of us asked for.
And let’s be frank, no one can be perfect all the time, if the concept of perfection even exists. It’s normal to have dishes pile up in your sink, laundry that isn’t sorted by color, and nights when dinner is just pesto pasta because you can’t bring yourself to cook. It’s okay to skip a workout if you don’t feel like it. Life gets busy, and sometimes just getting through the day is enough.
What matters more is allowing yourself to take breaks. Rest and sleep are more essential to productivity than we give them credit for. Especially during finals week, be gentle with yourself. Studying won’t go smoothly every day, and you’re probably stressed already—so don’t add more pressure by trying to live up to a stereotype that was never real to begin with.
embracing the chaos
At the end of the day, it’s not about looking pretty. College is meant to challenge us and master new skills, not looking aesthetic while doing it. The myth of the put-together girl makes us believe we’re failing if we can’t make the chaos look nice and cutesy, but the truth is, that everyone is a little chaotic and no one has it figured out. Everyone is tired and is just trying to get through it week by week, coffee by coffee.
Especially during finals, the goal isn’t effortless. It should be taking care of yourself in meaningful ways. If you need more sleep to better focus then that’s more important than rewriting notes. Having instant ramen and letting the laundry wait for another day is also totally okay. Make sure you’re not overcomitting to plans and instead of pretending everything is great and fine, it might be a huge relieve to just admit that the last few days have been overwhelming and knowing that you can push through this together with your friends. Maybe we should give us more permission to be human, instead of trying to chase this unattainable dream of the cool Instagram girlie. Let the myth fall apart. You don’t have to look perfect to be capable. You just have to keep going. Happy finals week, girls! You got this, I believe in you!