Humans have spent centuries writing poetry about soulmates, building romantic movies around grand gestures, and setting our expectations for love on fireworks, flowers, and forever. Every generation grows up believing that to be loved romantically is to be completed, that fulfillment begins when someone chooses us back. In our culture, fairy tales and pop songs tell us that romance is the ultimate proof of worth.
But what if we take a step away from romantic love and focus on another type of transformative love? What if the love that steadies us and builds us up comes in part from the friends who see us in all our unguarded moments, whose loyalty asks for nothing in return, who stay, not by chance, but by choice? In a world obsessed with finding “the one,” platonic love often fades into the background. It’s rarely given the same language or the same celebration; yet it’s the kind love that weathers years and offers companionship without possession. That being said, maybe it’s time to start romanticizing the love that doesn’t need roses or candlelight to feel real.
Understanding PLATONIC LOVE
Before we can reimagine how we see platonic love, it helps to understand what it really means. The word platonic traces back to the philosopher Plato, who believed that love could exist beyond physical desire. He envisioned a bond in which people could care for and admire one another without romance. Today, we use the term to describe that same kind of relationship. Simply put, platonic love is a deep, affectionate bond between people that does not involve sexual or romantic attraction.
friendship overshadowed
Popular culture trains us to see romantic relationships as the ultimate reward. Numerous stories seem to end with a kiss, as if friendship is merely the prelude to something more meaningful. For example, rom-coms like When Harry Met Sally often treat male-female friendships as incomplete until they become romantic, suggesting that emotional closeness only counts when it leads to a relationship. Such a pattern subtly teaches us that love is only worth celebrating when it’s romantic, leaving friendship as a supporting act rather than the main story. By centering our lives around romantic love, we unintentionally sideline the people who hold us when we fall apart, who know our histories, and who stay even when passion fades.
Love stories without kisses
While most stories still place romantic love at the center, some moments in film remind us that deep connection doesn’t always need a kiss to feel complete. For example, in Mean Girls, the friendship between Janis and Damian is one of the movie’s most sincere portrayals of love. They move through the chaos of high school as a unit, and while their bond isn’t romantic, it carries the same depth and devotion we often associate with romance. They know each other’s flaws and forgive them easily, they show up, defend one another, and find joy in simply being together.
Another example can be found in the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding where the story subverts the typical rom-com formula. Julianne spends the movie trying to win back her best friend Michael before his wedding, believing that romantic love is the only form worth fighting for. Yet by the end, she realizes that she can’t claim him from another woman, and instead must accept that he is marrying someone else. The movie ends with a final dance between Julianne and her close friend George, who shows up for her at her lowest moment, rather than the expected romantic ending. Julianne doesn’t get the man she wanted, but she is comforted by a friend who loves her deeply. Her story is a great reminder that being cared for and understood can matter just as much as being chosen romantically.
loving loudly
To romanticize platonic love is to give it the care, language, and reverence we’ve long reserved for romantic partners. It’s writing letters to friends, celebrating them, and making time for them in ways that tell them they matter a lot. It’s about letting friendship be enough for a while, not a placeholder, not a lesser version of something else, but a whole, beating heart of its own. And while it’s not bad to want romantic love, it’s worth remembering that the people who truly shape our lives aren’t always the ones we date.
So, how can you start romanticizing platonic love in your own life? You can begin by noticing the small ways friendship already fills your life and choose to honor them. Tell your friends you love them out loud. Plan nights that celebrate your bond for no reason other than gratitude. Take photos, write notes, leave voice messages that say the things you’d normally reserve for a partner. Be intentional about showing up, listening closely, and marking milestones in your friendships the way you would in a romance. When we treat platonic love as something to nurture and invest in, it not only deepens our connections but also reminds us that love, of any kind, is abundant, not scarce.
When we start seeing platonic relationships as a form of love worth celebrating, we begin to unlearn the idea that fulfillment has to come from romance. It can be found in everyday moments, in conversations, shared laughter, and the quiet ways friends show they care. Romantic love is beautiful, but so is the kind of love that grows without expectation and stays without conditions. The most lasting love may be the one that has quietly been with us all along.