For the Love of the Game, Not the Screen

Recently, I’ve found myself struggling to get off my phone. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to find things that make me forget I even have one. Tackling this task alone has been no easy feat, but when you add the role of comforting company into the mix, it makes it a little easier.

My friends and I have been getting together at least once a week to play our version of charades. A college-life version where we end up silently acting out things like sailgating at a football game, a mutual campus celebrity, or a niche inside joke. It’s created a joyous, often hysterical environment that we can lose track of time in. A place where we can connect beyond a screen.

As someone who is casually Catholic, I continue to make the effort to practice Lent, an additional push to stick to any New Year’s Resolutions that I may have cheated on since January. Last year, during Lent, I gave up TikTok. An extremely difficult task, but in the end, it was wildly rewarding. I didn’t realize how much time I had spent doomscrolling, and it gave me time to do other things that I would have missed out on. By the time Easter had rolled around, I had forgotten about TikTok. It wasn’t a part of my routine anymore; I had completely broken the habit. Even though I could have my TikTok back since Lent was over, I didn’t feel the need for it. I didn’t crave it.

I have since gotten back into the same vicious cycle of doomscrolling, as both a form of procrastination and mental stimulation. So, I’m giving up TikTok again for Lent this year, hopefully breaking the habit and sticking to it this time around. In turn, this gives me more time off my phone to connect with the people around me, instead of being a “screenager” in my own world. 

I was reflecting on love and friendship over President’s Day weekend. A three-day weekend where I spent 90% of my time surrounded by my closest friend— without a device. There was Galentines, the love-filled celebration of girlhood and friendship. We sang karaoke in the living room, made heart-shaped pizzas, baked themed desserts, and, of course, dressed up in our finest pinks and reds to pose for pictures. To round out our weekend, we went camping in Deception Pass, where half of our phones died before the night had truly begun. The classic social circle around a warm fire, teaching friends who have never camped before how to pitch a tent, a beautiful hike through the PNW greenery, and, of course, brunch at a diner before heading home, entertained by playful chatter that others were definitely eavesdropping on. 

Weekends like this make me realize it is possible to live in a world where the tiny black metal brick in my back pocket doesn’t consume my life. To find new ways to enjoy my day beyond doomscrolling, it means commitment. Committing not just to myself to stay off my phone, but committing to others to engage socially and authentically in person. When was the last time you sat in a coffee shop and started a conversation with a stranger? Or did you hide behind your $9 non-dairy latte and scroll on Instagram like me? Moments like these are where you can engage in mental stimulation differently beyond a screen. These ‘Third Spaces’ are meant for connection, not home or work, but community.

So as my 40-day journey begins, I hope to not only get off TikTok but also my phone in general. I want to learn something new, build a healthy habit, spark conversations with strangers, and end my day with a book or some light journaling instead of a bright screen. I want to engage in this wonderful game that is life and not just silently observe its parasocial reality. 

• doomscrolling
• lent
• life
• socializing