Starting as early as I can remember, loud noises always bothered me. I hated eating in restaurants because it was too chaotic; I didn’t like hearing my dad wrench on stuff, and I hated loud music in the car. My mom just assumed it was because I was young and wasn’t used to it. Not even close.
I wish I could say I have the proper explanation, but even my diagnosis creates more confusion. I have something called Tinnitus, which causes a constant ringing in both of my ears. All day, every single day, without failure. Some people might hear other noises with tinnitus as well, but in my case, it’s ringing, and occasionally, my hearing becomes muffled.
Don’t come at me if I have to ask you, “What?” after everything you say. You might be thinking a diagnosis would solve all the problems, right? No. The confusion with my condition is that usually older adults are affected by it.
Typically, prolonged exposure to loud noises without hearing protection and/or hearing loss is the underlying cause of tinnitus. I was never exposed to noises that could cause this, and the doctors said I have very good hearing, so what the heck?
To this day, we don’t really have an explanation for why I have it. And the best news of all: there is no cure for it in my case. I’ve looked into hearing aids that play white noise, but it’s not covered by insurance.
I do have a few techniques that help me deal with it on a daily basis, however. Listening to white noise and having fans going at night helps drown it out. As for the rest of my day, I’m still learning.
When I’m sitting in a class that I should definitely be paying attention to, sometimes all I can focus on is the deafening ringing noise. No matter how much I try to distract myself, it never goes away.
Some people may find that wearing headphones and playing white noise helps them, but personally, I HATE having AirPods in my ears. The combination of ringing and not being able to hear my surroundings makes me more paranoid than anything.
I think having this diagnosis helps my younger self feel more at ease knowing I wasn’t just “being dramatic.” The adults in my life didn’t really understand it, and I definitely didn’t know what was going on. Even if the diagnosis doesn’t provide any treatment, it’s still nice to understand what’s going on inside my body.
I’m not writing about this to ask for pity, but simply to educate people. You may experience the same things I did and go your whole life without knowing why.
If you’re interested in learning more about tinnitus, you can check it out here.