Nothing is scarier than avoiding your full potential. Yes, I found that on Pinterest. The image was this quote painted on a brick wall, and it ignited something in me. I’ve let anxiety and worry lead most of my life, constantly second-guessing what I do to the point that I just end up doing nothing. Avoidance is easy; living is hard. It is easier to run away from your problems, but I wasn’t running away from problems; I was running away from hypothetical crises that I would spiral myself into. We’ve all been there: what if I’m not good enough, what if I look stupid, I don’t fit in, I don’t look good, I can’t do it. These inner thoughts had so much control over my life that I was constantly saying no. I’m not going to that event, I won’t take that picture, I won’t join that society… I was always saying no, until this summer.
What flipped the switch from No to Yes
For context, I had a very quiet summer. I spent my summer healing: I was doing lots of doctors’ visits, changed my diet and my lifestyle, worked on stress management, and got in contact with a new therapist. I was building a better me, but I was still struggling. It was then that I realised you cannot truly enjoy your life if you are not living it. Saying yes is daunting, but saying no prevents us from living important experiences that genuinely make us happier. I realised that I was limiting myself by saying no, and that to really grow and flourish as a person, I had to set myself a challenge: start saying yes.Â
On the way to saying Yes
Saying yes is hard because it takes us out of our comfort zone. Immersing yourself in something new makes you vulnerable, but this is exactly where you discover what makes you happy. When you say yes, you get to explore life. I started finding a new sense of excitement and accomplishment; I began to learn what made me happy and passionate, finally accepting these parts of myself. I started to see my life change. I switched from Single Honours Psychology to Joint Honours with Management, all because I said yes to modules I genuinely enjoyed, instead of choosing what I thought I should be doing.
Finding the Balance
With this new approach, I went from zero to sixty, throwing myself into the deep end by saying yes to everything and everyone. At first, this seemed like the best decision —the polar opposite of my simple summer —but as my commitments crept into my calendar, I began to panic at the sheer extent of it all. I’ll give you the intense two-week picture: on Wednesday, I went to an academic wedding; on Thursday, I arranged an early birthday dinner; on Friday, I said yes to Bop night at the union, even though on Saturday, I had a 7 am wake up to travel to New York City for reading week (I am in New York writing this as we speak). I travel back next Saturday, and then on Monda,y I travel again for a concert on Wednesday. I get back on Thursday and then host a Halloween party on Friday. I said yes to all of this, and was/am very excited, but I was confronted by the fact that I am still a uni student with lots of assignments, societies, and classes to attend. I began to get overwhelmed by it all. Going from doing nothing to everything is intense, so learn from my mistakes and find the balance. Jumping into new experiences is beneficial, but so is rest, and sometimes saying no is the correct answer.
Where saying Yes can take you
This week I had my 21st birthday in New York City. I am sitting in my hotel room writing this because I started saying yes. Saying yes has sent me down a rollercoaster, filled with stress and overwhelm, and yet an unshakable desire to keep going. Saying yes is the ultimate adrenaline. Saying yes has got me my dream birthday, seeing my favourite artist, building the best memories with my friends, studying the degree I want, and being who I want to be; I am living my life, and it is uniquely mine. Saying yes has changed my life, and I hope by reading this, it can change yours, too.Â
