In 2023, I moved from my small suburban town in the Pacific Northwest to Los Angeles to start my first year of college in California. I went from familiar faces that followed from elementary to high school to a school with over 30,000 undergraduate students and no one from my city, let alone my high school in sight.Â
Talking to in-state students, it seemed like everyone knew someone here; and as someone who hadn’t had to make new friends since I was 14, it seemed terrifying that I didn’t. I’ve never been a naturally outgoing person, but by forcing myself to be an extrovert for a few months, I have been able to make some of my closest friends and surrounded myself with people I want to keep around for life.Â
For my fellow introverts out there struggling to know how to navigate socially starting over in college, these are my tips of things I have done (and still do) in college to meet the people who have now become my best friends.
- Be Where the People Are
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I’m going to start this list with the obvious advice that you’re probably tired of hearing, but it’s said so often because it’s true. The first step of meeting new friends is intentionally being places where there are other people you’ll consistently see. Whether it be joining Greek life, school clubs, or just spending time in your dorm lounge, being around the same group of people frequently creates some familiar faces. Even if these people don’t become your best friends, this can open the door to new connections.
- Talk For Fun
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One of the hardest parts of making friends as an introvert is learning how to actually spark up conversations with strangers. Something that has helped me ease into being a temporary extrovert is learning to talk for fun. Have low stakes conversations whenever they arise just to get more comfortable speaking. Like that girl’s top in class? Let her know! Forgot a pen? Ask someone around you. The instructions on an assignment aren’t clear? Ask someone else if they understand it. Having these small interactions helped me realize that talking to people is way less scary than it may seem in my head and helped me get comfortable socially making the first move.
- Getting Comfortable
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Many of us will stop ourselves from talking to others because we’re afraid of being embarrassed or saying the wrong things. But it’s important to remember that most people are not thinking about you nearly as much as you’re thinking about yourself. They’re usually too busy worrying about how they’re coming across to notice the little things you’re stressing over. So don’t overthink it. Say hi to that stranger, ask the question, join the conversation. Even if you do feel awkward, that moment will pass way faster than you think, and you’ll probably be glad you didn’t hold back.
At the end of the day, college is one big social experiment. We’re all just trying to find our people, while also trying to figure ourselves out. If you don’t find your scene right away or have some awkward interactions along the ride, don’t stress! The right friendships will form with time, so be patient, be open, and remember that everyone around you is probably just as nervous and eager to meet new people as you are. You’ve got this!