I have been living off campus for a little over a month, and I have learned many things not only about living alone for the first time, but also about myself.
It can be extremely difficult moving away from campus into a space that is all your own, especially as a young adult. I am in a particularly unique situation where I am completely disconnected from my usual support system. My family is home in Florida, my best friend attends another school, and my apartment is not close to campus. So why all of this context? If I were able to read about someone going through the same things as me, or if one aspect of their college journey was similar to mine, I think it would have made me feel less alone, and that is what I hope to do for you.
I want to preface this by saying, I don’t have all the answers yet, and there is no secret when it comes to making a space yours and feeling comfortable in a new place. For some people, it’s easy to adjust to new situations and change, but for me, I found it challenging moving into an apartment for the first time. My friends and I had talked about living together since the second week of freshman year, and the reality of it has been entirely unexpected.
For a while, all I had in my new room was a bed and boxes of clothes, but slowly, it started coming together, and I actually enjoyed the prolonged process of building furniture and filling my room with aspects of myself day by day. Even now, more than a month into living in my apartment, I am still finding new things to hang on my walls and missing items that make filling my space more practical.
One thing that I am still learning is how to find pleasure in being alone. I am someone who thrives being surrounded by people, especially my friends. In the dorms, I would have my friends over all the time. It didn’t matter what we were doing; I just felt more comfortable knowing I was never alone unless I was going to bed. Now, being so far from campus and my friends, especially my best friend, I find it challenging to enjoy my own company. In the past, I would have retreated to locking myself in my room and watching TikTok all day, and while I still do that, I have also been trying new things to try and find joy in being alone.
Cooking has helped me a lot. Prior to having my own kitchen, I never cooked and was quite scared to even try. I didn’t want to experiment with recipes and often left the cooking to my mom or the lovely dining hall staff. Recently, I have found that I actually love cooking, and I spend most of my free time looking at recipes or making big meals for my housemates and me. While I am still not the best cook, I love the limitless creativity I am able to express in a way that nourishes my body and my mind.
Another thing I like doing when I am by myself is watching movies or shows. It sounds simple, but I try to really focus on what I am watching, going so far as to delete social media while I am watching whatever I may be interested in that week. I find that watching a series is easier than reading, which I do occasionally enjoy, because it feels like an actual break from schoolwork.
It helps to find a series, my personal favorite being Sex and the City, and focus on it. I can watch an entire show in a few weeks, and it allows me to decompress after a long day of classes. It is also fun to make an event out of it, so grab your favorite drink, snacks, and set some mood lighting. The more you can do to make yourself feel at ease, the easier it is to enjoy the time you spend with yourself.
Living alone can be confusing at first, and I know for myself, it is still a challenge to find comfort in myself. What matters is that you try. Any time you spend focusing on your well-being is time well spent. You don’t have to have a concrete plan, but it does help to try new things and to find comfort in old past times. Whatever you do, make sure you are doing it for yourself.
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