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Anna Thetard / Her Campus
SBU | Life > Experiences

The Art of being Nonchalant

Cecelia Mineo Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

According to Merriam Webster, nonchalant means “having an air of easy unconcern or indifference”. I am SO not nonchalant. In fact, I am the most chalant person you will ever meet, and I am proud of it.

I hate the term nonchalant. I hate everything about it. Since when is not caring or not showing emotion a good thing? I WANT people to know I care. I WANT people to know I wear my heart on my sleeve. And why is this such a thing now? The era of someone’s entire life being in the public eye or online is also the era we can’t show emotion.

Take relationships, for example. I hate that being nonchalant is now a trait people look for. If I ever meet someone, I want a yearning type of love. I want them to be loud about it; to be concerned about it, I want them not to be indifferent. If you’re nonchalant about our relationship, I’m not your girl.

Maybe this is just proof the fact I can’t do casual, I don’t know. I want the love notes, I want the texts to wake up to, I want the love I try to give out to be reciprocated. This isn’t even just for a romantic relationship. I feel the same way about friendships. I want you to know I care, and I want to know you care too.

I envy people who can “walk away nonchalantly”. I am hurting so hard. How can the same situation not affect you? We get the same bad grade on an exam, I shed a tear, you’re unbothered. Someone is rude or mean, and people can tell it affects me, but you can just walk away. And on the other side, we both get a good grade, I’m smiling ear to ear, you’re still unbothered. We both get a compliment, I’m beaming, you’re still walking away. Isn’t showing no emotion at all so exhausting?

It could be that nonchalant people hide behind it, not wanting someone to see their emotions, to not seem weak. But I think that caring doesn’t make me seem weak; it makes me seem secure. I am secure in my thoughts, I am secure in my emotions, I am secure in the fact that I might care a little too much.

So, no, I haven’t mastered the art of being nonchalant. I don’t think I want to. I’d rather feel too much than nothing at all.

Cecelia Mineo

SBU '27

Cecelia Mineo is brand new to the St. Bonaventure chapter of Her Campus! She is hoping to write about literally anything; music, travel, or school.
Cecelia is a junior at SBU, studying public health with a minor in business administration. She is Secretary of the Class of 2027 at SBU, three years running. Cecelia is also public relations of Health Science Club, a team leader at Enactus, an intern with the Bona Cabrini Program, and can be found always running around campus.
Outside of school, Cecelia loves reading, hiking, the beach, and hanging out with friends. If there is a Buffalo Bills game that day, she will always be watching or listening. She is obsessed with her puppy, Emmy, has probably listened to Treaty Oak Revival's entire discography ten times over and will always say yes to a concert trip.