When I enter a store, all my self control goes flying out the window. A trip that is meant for one item often ends with me hauling — and I mean hauling — so many items I don’t need, back home. A couple weeks ago, I headed to Sprout’s Market. I only needed ingredients to make guacamole and my daily essential — frozen Brazi Bites Blueberry waffles; they are absolutely delicious,I recommend putting them in the airfryer. However, an hour later, I’m carrying four bags, three massive pumpkins — well two because my roommate had to carry one. I had so many things and a goal.
You may be thinking, wow Alex, it’s so admirable you’re facing your shopping addiction. Sorry, that’s not this article, maybe some other time. When I was younger, carving pumpkins was a laborious and time consuming activity — one that I typically watched my mom and sister do from the sidelines. This year, not having a front porch, tools, or real desire to take on the task of carving pumpkins, I contemplated even getting any. However, this year I’m really trying to embrace the holiday seasons. So, I decided that I would get one — three — pumpkins and spend only a few — six — hours painting them.
Painting pumpkins is a really good way to decorate them. It helps them last longer and is a method that — in my opinion — is not as laboring or messy. However, what may seem like a simple task turned out to be a really enriching experience for me.
I love art, and when I first was applying to colleges, I even thought I wanted to major in it. But, I am notorious for completing my projects late or never finishing them. Now, completing my English major requirements this semester and still having three semesters ahead of me, I wanted to incorporate art back into my education. I decided — with the encouragement of one of my professors — that I would pursue a second major in art history.
Part of the art history major is to take two fundamental studio art classes. While a really exciting aspect to look forward to for senior year, it’s something that I was simultaneously worried about. Questions that circled my mind were, Would my patterns of not finishing projects continue? Why can’t I complete a project I start? Because, I mean really, what keeps stopping me from finishing projects?
I believe that there are probably a number of reasons, but one of the largest is my desire to do everything “perfectly” or “correctly” — a challenging concept when thinking about art. If I do something really well in a painting or drawing, I will stop. I don’t want to mess up the work I’ve done and if I don’t do any more, then I can’t. I needed to pursue this pumpkin project, because I needed to face my fear over a subject I love and prepare myself mentally for these upcoming fundamental classes. I had to prove to myself that I could start and finish a project and diminish a little bit of the voice that tells me that I have to:
A) Do everything correctlyÂ
B) Stop while I’m aheadÂ
After all, we wouldn’t have art history — or any art — if everyone stopped when they were halfway through. This October, I wasn’t scared of monsters, but, with my one — three — pumpkin(s), I headed home to partially conquer my fear of failing.
The process was not as bad as I thought it would be. I picked out some inspiration I could loosely follow, and began painting. I put on a TV show in the background to distract myself a little bit and painted two of the pumpkins simultaneously. While I was waiting for one part to dry, I would paint the other and vice versa. It was a fun process and at no part did I really want to quit.
I took breaks and still held myself to a high standard — because they would be something I would look at every day. Mixing colors and going a simpler design route was a way that I limited the places I could potentially mess up. The eyes for me were the hardest part. I did one that I was really happy with, only to look at the other side of the pumpkin and realize I would have to do it all over again. I took out my ruler, measured the space, and tried to replicate it as best I could. There are some spaces that I was not entirely happy with, but you would only really notice them if I pointed them out. In the end, I had two pumpkins that I was really proud of.
I don’t think this endeavor completely diminished my pattern of not completing projects. I painted two of the three pumpkins, waiting to see if another pattern or image comes along that inspires me to paint my last one. This project was a really productive step though and was really powerful in showing how beneficial slowing down and taking it easy can be. This is definitely a mentality I will continue to implement over the next few months in preparation for these classes and something I would recommend to anyone who is trying to conquer a fear. It was a fun way to get into the Halloween spirit and an even better way to reinforce self confidence.