When you first get to college, it feels like everyone is talking about how normal hookups are. People make it sound like the “normal” thing to do. As if you’re missing out if you don’t constantly go out till after two a.m. I used to think it was just part of the college experience, but the more I saw it in real life, the more I realized it’s not all it’s hyped up to be. Honestly, hookup culture seems more exhausting than exciting.
To begin, it’s not always as carefree as people make it sound. Sure, a casual fling sounds fun once in a while to a lot of people, but in reality, someone usually ends up catching feelings or feeling used. Even when both people say it’s “not serious,” there can still be that awkward feeling after where you’re not sure if you should text them or pretend it never happened. That uncertainty isn’t all that; it’s stressful.
Another thing no one tells you is how emotionally draining hookup culture can be. People act like it’s empowering, but it can also make you question yourself more than you should. It’s easy to wonder, Was I just a distraction? Do they talk to their friends about me? Instead of feeling confident, you can end up doubting your worth, and that’s not something anyone deserves to feel.
Lastly, there’s nothing wrong with wanting something deeper. Hookup culture makes it seem like relationships are boring or “too much work,” but in reality, building a connection with someone can be way more rewarding. Having someone who actually cares about how your day went feels so much better than another “WSG?” text. To me, college should be about finding out what truly makes you happy, and for a lot of us, it’s more than just a quick fling.
At the end of the day, hookup culture is just not the magical college experience it’s made out to be. It can be fun for some people sure, but it shouldn’t be the standard or the expectation. If you’d rather focus on friendships, personal growth, or maybe one real relationship, that’s more than okay. For me, choosing not to buy into the hype has made college feel less stressful and a lot more real.