I often ask myself the question, am I doing this right? As a freshman thrust into this new environment of college on my own, the main way I have had to figure things out is by trying and, oftentimes, failing. I am not going to lie, as a person who likes to be in control and “in the know,” the past few weeks have been very challenging for me. From finding my classes, to building relationships, to learning bus routes, every step has been filled with uncertainty.
I feel like in college, there is such shame in being a freshman. Oftentimes, I found myself afraid of looking stupid because I didn’t know where something was or how to do something. I had to remind myself that this is my first and last time being a freshman, so I should embrace my “not knowing.”
As I looked around at my fellow freshmen for comfort, I felt so behind, it seemed like everyone had already found their friends and were perfectly fine being away from their families. Which was nothing like what I was experiencing. After speaking to a few friends, I found out they were having similar doubts/worries as me, but they also felt like they were the only ones feeling that way.Â
The hardest part for me so far has been making friends. After the first two to three days, I was tired of having the “What’s your major? Where are you from?” conversation. I feel like it has been so challenging to form true relationships when every discussion feels so surface level. My family at home sort of painted the perfect picture of how I’ll find my people in college. I guess I expected that to be instant, when in reality, it is going to take a while.
Surprisingly, the easiest part of college for me to figure out so far has been the academics. I have always enjoyed school, and I felt comfort in finally having a schedule to stick to. Those first few days, I felt so lost without a schedule. Additionally, in my experience, all my professors are willing to help and genuinely want to teach, which is something that high school often lacks. It has been fun to engage in intelligent discussions in class. Even though I often feel surrounded by people smarter than me, it is so interesting to not only learn from my professors but from my peers.Â
I think Taylor Swift perfectly summarized my experience in college so far. “The scary news is, you’re on your own now. The cool news is, you’re on your own now!” I feel like in my first month at college, I have experienced every single emotion possible: joy, homesickness, anxiety, bliss, and everything in between. What I have learned through my first month of struggles, doubts, and doing new things is that I am capable of much more than I thought, and you are too.Â