If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be this: stop expecting people to change, and stop believing that everyone is deserving of your love, friendship, kindness, or energy. Give yourself the chance to meet new people, instead of going back to those who were already lucky enough to have met you and didn’t value you when they had the chance.Â
There wasn’t a particular experience or moment that prompted me to reevaluate who I allowed into my life. Instead, it was a gradual realization that nothing changes if nothing changes. I am entering the last few months of the year surrounded by people who fill my cup and make me feel seen, heard, appreciated, and loved—but that was not always the case. Being a people pleaser and prioritizing the wrong people was something I had to go through to learn that letting go leaves room for something greater to arrive. Choosing people who choose me and accepting people as they are brought me peace, knowing that I was respecting myself and surrounding myself with people who energized me. Accepting that some people are not going to reciprocate your actions and feelings and aren’t meant to stay in your life forever is a hard pill to swallow. While in the past I may have fought for a friendship that no longer served me, now I walk away knowing that if someone truly wants to be in my life, they will make an effort. You shouldn’t have to change anything about yourself or make sacrifices for that to happen; it should come easily.Â
A quote that has stuck with me throughout this year is: “If you love something, set it free; if it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” There is so much truth to that statement, and choosing to stay should never come at the expense of your self-worth, boundaries, or happiness. Relationships, friendships, and everything in between should never require you to chase, beg, or compromise who you are. The right people will meet you where you’re at, value you for all you are, and grow with you. Learn to let go of what leaves, no matter how much it might break your heart. If it’s meant for you, and it leaves, it will come back when the timing is right.Â