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Things people assume when you say you are a lesbian

Luiza Soares Student Contributor, Casper Libero University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Casper Libero chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

The moment you say you’re a lesbian, people suddenly think they know everything about you. From the way you dress to who you “must” hate, a bunch of assumptions pop up.

These stereotypes are simplified and exaggerated ideas about being a lesbian. They narrow a diverse community down to a few clichés that are easy to spot and easy to misunderstand. 

Butch VS Femme

Most of the stereotypes focus on appearance. The “butch lesbian” is often portrayed with short hair, flannel shirts, baggy jeans, and a “masculine” attitude. 

On the flip side, the “femme lesbian” is often hyper-sexualized and framed as male fantasy material. Both stereotypes overlook the reality that lesbians, like anyone else, express themselves in many different ways. 

The other boxes people put lesbians in

Aside from that, other stereotypes about lesbians exist. One of them is the “man-hater” myth, which suggests that every lesbian is broken by men and therefore “chooses” women as payback – like if sexuality was a form of revenge. 

Another one is the “just curious” cliché, which presents lesbians as women who are only “experimenting” until they find the right man. And let’s not forget the“predatory lesbian” stereotype, which assumes that lesbians desire every woman around them and can’t tell friendship from attraction. 

In the media, the “tragic lesbian” trope often shows queer women facing unhappy endings, loneliness or violence. This reinforces the belief that being a lesbian means suffering. Although these stereotypes differ, they all have one thing in common: they simplify identity into basic, negative, or fantastical images, erasing the true diversity of lesbian lives.

@safe_space

Tell us which lesbian stereotype YOU are! #lgbtq #podcast #lesbian

♬ Sunshine – WIRA

Where stereotypes come from (and why they stick)

These ideas don’t just appear out of thin air, they are shaped by media, pop culture, and a heteronormative society that prefers clear categories for things it can’t quite understand. The more they get repeated, the more they start to feel like “truths.”

In reality, stereotypes serve as tools of simplification. They erase diversity, flatten individuality, and turn identity into a caricature. Instead of recognizing lesbians as whole complex individuals, stereotypes reduce them to clothing choices, attitudes and fantasies.

But here’s the deal: stereotypes aren’t truths. They’re society’s imagination, often revealing more about what straight culture projects onto lesbians than about lesbians themselves.

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The article above was edited by Isabella Messias.

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Luiza Soares

Casper Libero '25

Been with Her Campus Casper Libero since 2022 and writing what makes my heart skip a beat.