If you have dated in the 21st century, chances are you have used or considered using some form of dating app to find a partner. The choices are multitudinous at best, insufferable at worst. Whether you download Tinder, Hinge, or Grindr, the experience is largely the same: a dizzying pool of strangers’ pictures and ambiguous descriptions that you must comb through in order to find “the one”, or at minimum, someone halfway decent to go on a date with.Â
According to Pew Research Center, 1 in 10 partnered adults, those who are married, living together, or in a committed romantic relationship, have met their current significant other on a dating app. And yet, a recent Forbes article announced that a shocking 79% of generation Z feels dating app burnout, reporting that the apps made them feel lost, dispensable, or simply exhausted.Â
While dating apps once promised to provide an easy to use interface to find a genuine connection with a potential partner, the glut of options, tiered pricing structure, and shallow profiles make the apps feel commodified for many. A Brown college student concurred with the Forbes article saying, “I feel it’s all too gamified to the point where they aren’t trying to get you to find someone long term, but rather keep you on the app”.Â
It’s true: dating apps are now set up to attract more and more users, especially paid users, who will buy into upgrades for better selection or “higher priority” in the stack of profiles. The roses, likes, swipes, and inane profile prompts cheapens the initially well-meaning intentions of the apps. Another college student noted that the gamified interface was “addictive and unhelpful”, as users feel overwhelmed with choices and compelled to keep swiping.
While Generation Z smartphone users spend an average of 50 minutes a day on dating apps, these apps are quickly losing their appeal with the generation. Disenchanted Gen Z daters are opting to find partners in person, either in school, through friends, or in public spaces. There has been a notable rise in younger people seeking lower pressure, more authentic connections through extracurricular group activities, such as run clubs, intramural sports, and supper clubs. With 46% of dating app users claiming their personal experience on the apps has been negative, it is far from surprising that young adults are turning back to the “old-fashioned” way of meeting people.
Still, it is estimated that in the United States alone, 60 million people use dating apps – proof that they are not disappearing any time soon. While meeting a future partner in real life is a notable idea in theory, the reality of our chronically online world makes this idealistic scenario increasingly challenging. The average American spends nearly 7 hours a day online. Why not harness those hours to find a future partner or genuine connection? A few college students noted that they or others had found success in finding a partner through the apps, confirming that not all experiences are negative or wearying.Â
One college student said, “I think if you go into dating apps looking to find your life partner, there’s a chance that it’s possible for you.” But she did give the caveat that, “if you make your profile without a vision of what you want from the app, it’s reasonably likely that you’ll be disappointed”.Â
A basic necessity to human life is connection. Embedded in our biology is the urge to seek companionship, partnership, and authentic interactions. Although we have burrowed our noses into our glowing screens, this primal urge has not abated. Corporate America has offered its solution: commodified apps that capitalize on our need to find connection. For some members of Generation Z, these apps offer precisely what they crave. An in person relationship borne out of the hours spent on our screens. For others, however, these apps simply echo the rest of the internet: addictive, gamified, exhausting. Luckily, we can turn to history as our precedent. For thousands of years, humans met their significant others in the flesh, there is no reason why the invention of the smartphone would render this behavior obsolete.